The Joy of what is…

January is almost over!

2012-01-31T21:57:00.000-06:00

Well, here it is again, the end of another month!

Let’s see… we had Joe’s LAST IEP meeting!! I just got the papers today to read and “approve”. They know him so well by now that it’s just a formality. I don’t know what we’ll do without these teachers/helpers. He is about to be sent out into the world. Eeek!! Ok, one more year, I’m not gonna freak out just yet.

New things are coming for Timothy!! A couple of posts back I mentioned that he is going to be switching classes, or schools, or something.

Little background: Our school district is “independent”. West Burlington is sort of just an extension of Burlington, but we are our own city. We have our own PD, FD, City Hall, City Council, Mayor, Utilities Dept., etc. We also have our own school district, with our own Superintendent and School Board. Our teachers even have their own union. Our district serves our city, and bunches of rural area. We do not bus students to/from school unless there are special circumstances. As a part of the grant for our preschool, bussing was added, so preschool kids have the option of being picked up in one of our three vans. Physically disabled is one of those circumstances for the older kids, and we have one student in a wheelchair that is bussed. Because our schools are small, and because our district is better in most areas that the bigger ones surrounding us, we have a good percentage of open enrolled students as well. On the flip side of that, because we’re small, and there are really only a handful of special needs kids, we don’t have the vast special needs program that we need, so our more complicated special needs kids have to go to the Burlington schools where they do have the numbers to support the more diverse SN programs. They have 6 Elem(I think), 3 Middle, and 2 High schools. Any of which are only about a 10 minute ride. Outside of our district, but all within 15-30 minutes are Fort Madison, Danville, Mediapolis, Wapello, & Denmark. The first option for us though is Burlington. Because of the sheer numbers of kids, the Burlington district has no room for Timothy. We’re talking space here, not even teacher/student ratios. LOL Well, why don’t they build more schools? They are, but of course that isn’t an instant answer, we’ll have two new ones opening next school year (well, over the summer).

Anyway... the Burlington SN program is full. No more physical room. I thought it was a teacher/program thing. So, because of that, we are “forced” to find someplace else for Timothy after his sixth Birthday. There is a law in Iowa (I don’t know if it’s a national thing though) that children 6 and up can NOT be in preschool, there are no special circumstances, no accommodations for special needs kids, that’s just the rule, and there’s no room to wiggle. Now, they can be in KG till they are 20(ok maybe not, but YKWIM), but only in Preschool till their 6th Birthday. This is where the problem comes. Timothy’s going to be 6 on February 20. Our school has no way to serve the needs that he has. We all hoped he would be further in the process of learning to speak, etc. by now but it’s just not happening yet. That’s not to say that it won’t, we all feel like the stuff is “there” he is just having a tough time connecting it and getting it out because he is a very bright little guy. He has picked up signing very quickly, and is at about a 24-30 month old level of verbal communication (connecting the sounds and making words is coming slowly). Of course, given the strikes against him, he is really doing remarkably well. He was never taught. He didn’t learn shapes, colors, abcs, numbers, how to talk with words, or any of those basic things that kids learn as they grow in a normal environment. He was taught how to dress, feed, toilet, and clean things. All things to make his caregivers lives easier, but they deemed him “unteachable” so he was never “educated” like the “typical” kids were with those basic foundational things that you learn even before going to school. Since he has been home, his receptive skills have bloomed. He understands 99.9% of the things you say to him, in English. He has completely lost his Russian (this makes me sad but we don’t know enough to really speak it well enough for him to have retained it, and our friend who is fluent doesn’t visit enough. LOL). Besides all of that, he also has a strike against him because he has lived in an institution all of his life. No matter how caring the nannies were, or how well taken care of they were physically (food, warm bed, clothing), there are things that a child needs to be “normal”. Touches, hugs, affection, etc. So, there are institutional behaviors that he has that needed to be forgotten, or things that he needed to learn about being in a family. He is doing very well in that area! There are also social skills that he needed to change a bit to fit into a family as opposed to a group. He’s done well with that stuff too. He has really done well in ALL areas but the areas that are most important to his education are more structured and he is still pretty far behind his peers. When I look at what Olivia knows (reading, writing, etc) I can really see how far behind Timothy is. And, if all of that wasn’t enough, he also has that whole Down syndrome thing. Kids with Ds are not “typical” but they are MUCH more typical that people really know. Most people/kids with Ds are fully integrated into our crazy society, schools, classrooms, etc. without too much extra accommodations for their “disability” needed. Most don’t need adaptive equipment or anything like that that would keep them from being fully functional contributors to society. However, they are slower at grasping concepts that might only take us a few tries. Mentally, they are “normal” (most people don’t realize that) and many have the IQ to prove it. However, because of the way they process things, the way they talk, and the way they look, people tend to think of them as “Mentally Retarded” (I have always HATED that phrase, and now even more!!).

Soooo... since Burlington is full, and our school doesn’t have what he needs, they had to find it somewhere else. Fort Madison has a WONDERFUL (best in the state) Autism program. Joe never really needed it because we were capable of meeting his needs here. Fort Madison also has a very top notch SN program for other SN kids. They called me before Christmas to let me know that FM is the next opening that we could place Timothy. I was adamant that I would NOT be sending him there. It was not an option. I contacted the Superintendent, the principal, and his teacher. I asked some questions, and the Superintendent decided it was best to talk about it face to face. The day of our meeting, I asked my questions, and they had answers. It happened that the principal of the FM school was there that day for something completely unrelated so our principal went and brought her in to answer some of my school/program specific questions. She had never met Timothy, didn’t have any info about him, just that they had a student that might need placement. Her answers were very informative, and I knew that they weren’t skewed (like she was just saying what I wanted to hear). I left that meeting with a new opinion on sending him to FM.

Last week, his teacher and I headed to FM to see the school, meet the teacher, and see what they had to offer. I’m sold. We have to get a staffing together and update his IEP, but his first day will be the day after his Birthday(2-21) since they have no school on the 20th. The program there sounds like exactly what he’ll need. He will be one of two Kindergarteners in the program. They will be in their gen. ed. classroom for the morning routine (calendar, lunch count, etc.), all specials (art, pe, music, etc.), lunch, recess, and any special parties or movie day, things like that if they are tolerating being out of their routine, which he is fine with. They want to keep him with his peer group (KGers) in hopes that eventually he’ll catch up to the kids in the appropriate grade level and have more and more and more time in the gen. ed. classroom and less and less in the spec. ed room. His IEP will be written pretty loosely so that they have a chance to see where he needs the most help and the most accommodations. Once they decide what grade he’ll be in next year, KG or 1st, we’ll meet again and set his IEP for next year. His teacher told me that it would be so hard to see him move, but going down there and seeing for herself, she feels better too. LOL She knew that she didn’t have a choice though, she knows he has to move somewhere because even with a para (one on one) going into the gen ed KG here would have been a really bad move for him. I’m pretty excited for him to get to go to this new school. It will be an adjustment because it will be 5 days a week, all day. I think once he gets used to it, he’ll be just fine! I should say, once *I* get used to it…

Besides all of the school stuff, our stove DIED!! Now, I have to tell you that this stove has worked overtime for us because I use it twice as much as a “normal” family would use theirs. I have a daycare! We’ve had it for 11 years, I’ve been doing daycare for all of those years. I have been without it for almost two weeks, and I’m tellin you, I MISS IT!! I ordered the new one last Friday though, so hopefully it won’t be long and we’ll be cookin again! Hehe

Ok, I think that’s enough for now! I’ll be back with pics soon!!

It's sooooo quiet...

2012-01-16T08:53:00.001-06:00

All the kids are off to school, and my one daycare kiddo for today isn’t here yet. It is SO quiet, I can hear the dog breathing!! LOL I can’t remember the last time it was this quiet! I have things to do but I know the peacefulness won’t last, so I’m just sitting here enjoying it. Heehee

This morning, as I was getting everyone ready to get them out the door, I thought about something that someone had said that has resonated with me for the past almost two years. In Ukraine, Timothy’s birth country, children with Down syndrome are thought to be “unteachable”. Since they have that mindset there, they don’t spend any time trying to teach them the basics, alphabet, colors, shapes, etc. They wouldn’t grow up to be anyone anyway, so why bother, right? They aren’t taught how to speak, either. We are having a struggle with that part now that he almost 6 and it has nothing to do with the different language, it’s that he had no verbal base to even start from. That’s another post though.

Back to this morning. I was busy with something, and Timothy decided that he needed his hands washed. He went to the kitchen, got the step stool out, put it in front of the sink(turned it the right way like I had showed him the last time he tried to use it), climbed up, turned on the water, and proceeded to wash his hands (using soap from the pump thing too!!). I stood back and watched him as he did each step, methodically, like he’d been doing it forever at that very sink(we do this in the bathroom but he doesn’t need to climb up). When he was done, he turned off the water, dried his hands (ok, went through the motions, they were still dripping hehe), got down off of the step stool and went on his merry way.

THIS is a child that was deemed “unteachable”. THIS is a child who would have been sentenced to a life of head banging, rocking, and nonsensical babble for the rest of his life if not for being found and brought home where he is loved, and cherished, and taught the things that no one there even thought he could learn. THIS is a child who, by now, would have probably died because in the mental institution that he’d have been sent to, they wouldn’t have had the time, or patience to keep up with him so he would have been tied to a crib or a chair all day just so he’d be still (he has ADHD). I know him well enough now to know that this would have eventually killed him. He might have fought it at first, tried to get away. But to keep him calm, maybe they would have given him medication/sedation. After a little while, he would have given up.

They would have broken his feisty little spirit. He would have stopped trying to get away, and then he would have stopped eating because that is the one thing that we have found he is the pickiest about. He would have died.

Alone. No one would have really cared, or maybe they wouldn’t have even noticed. I can’t say.

What I CAN say though is that it would have been a horrible, awful loss even if no one knew it. He IS smart, and thoughtful, and intuitive, and eager to learn, and eager to please. He is feisty, and ornery, and sneaky, and silly, and demanding, and helpful, and charming, and way too adorable for anyone’s good. He is loving, and sweet, and careful, and imaginative, and nurturing, and beautiful.

He is my son. My little boy. A sweet little crazy manchild who has blended into our family almost flawlessly. A little boy that I love just as much as if I had grown him inside of me. A little person who I believe CAN do anything he sets his mind to. Every time I see him do something, like this morning, or solve a problem on his own, I can’t help but think “They said he was unteachable”. I can’t help but think of what “they” missed out on. Those people who didn’t have any idea of the potential of this little firecracker of a boy.

Hmmm… I guess these are the things I think about when there is no one here who needs me and I have time to think. Maybe that’s a good thing? ;)

Who's really still reading? ;)

2012-01-11T23:19:00.000-06:00

LOL!! Ok, I guess it really doesn't matter who's still reading, I haven't been writing!

I decided that I'd try to be better at posting though, so here I am!

Today we all (by all I mean the four "older" people in the house) started Weight Watchers. I get an ungodly amount of points though, so it's been a challenging day! I know most people would be complaining that they are starving the first day of a new "diet" but I don't think that's going to be a problem.

I tried making "rotisserie" chicken in the crock pot last night! YUMMY!!! I used the leftovers for white bean chicken chili today. YUMMY!! hehe I also tried a new recipe tonight. It got mixed reviews though, so I'll try tweeking it a little when I make it again.

I've found a new ~~obsession~~ hobby... Pinterest! OH boy, you can lose some serious time there! LOL

It's been a very mild winter here in Iowa. Tonight though, we're supposed to get our first "significant" snowfall. YAY!! 3-5 inches.

Tomorrow I'll try to post some pics of the happenings from the last few months! I will... I promise!

Ooops!! Where did the time go??

2012-01-06T10:16:00.000-06:00

Since it’s been forever since I blogged, I thought I better at least pop in and make sure everyone knows we’re still here! LOL

We had a wonderful Christmas. All of the kids were very happy with their gifts. I was pretty happy with mine too. I got a new Cricut. I love my scrappy toys!

Mom spent the night with us on Christmas Eve. We had our traditional Cuban Noche Buena dinner. I can’t see roasting a whole pig as most do, so I roast a nice pork loin. I do the marinade and all the trimmings though. Black beans and rice, plantains, etc. I must say, it was pretty yummy this year. After dinner we decorated our cut out sugar cookies. This has become a tradition in our home in the last three or so years. It’s one that we will continue. John took the kids out to see Christmas lights so that Mom and I could put together the play kitchen and baby bed for the little two kiddos.

Once the kids were all finally in bed, the stockings were filled, and the gifts were spread out, and it was so nice.

Christmas morning we got up around 6:45, and I made the kids wait until Nonnie (my Mom) got up and we all had our turns in the bathroom. Hehe We all sit in our own spots and there is a big trash bag ready for the wrapping paper as each gift is unwrapped so we don’t lose anything under the mess. LOL Might sound a little neurotic but hey, it works!

Christmas dinner was spiral sliced ham, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and gravy, coleslaw, corn on the cob and rolls. We ate, we napped, we ate again… it was a really nice day. No drama, no broken toys, nobody cried. LOL Success!

There are a few other things going on around here besides the holidays. Timothy’s schooling is sort of up in the air right now. The law says that once a child is 6, they can’t be in Preschool. This means that they would not be able to “count” him in the funding, etc. So, he was supposed to be moving to the neighboring district where they have a self- contained special ed. classroom where he would get the attention that he needs to keep working toward catching up to his peers. He is very delayed because of his being in the orphanage, and not having any exposure to any kind of education, therapies, etc. He wasn’t even taught the basics (alphabet, colors, shapes, how to talk, etc.). It’s strange to really think about it, but I realize that even though we don’t sit down with our kids and “teach” them to talk, we do. I know that sounds odd, but if a child isn’t spoken to and taught that this is a cup, or a plate, or a dog, and taught how to say those words, they won’t. They don’t learn if they aren’t taught, and Timothy (and many many other special needs children in Ukraine) wasn’t given that extra time, they aren’t taught how to talk. So, he didn’t even have the foundation in his native language to build on. He is much like a toddler, learning sounds, etc. SO, he is NOT ready for mainstream Kindergarten, even with a one on one associate. I compared it in an email to some friends… it would be like tossing a fish in the air and expecting it to fly. I got a call right before school ended for the holiday break from his teacher. The other district is full, they have no room for Timothy. Ummmm… ok… alternatives? One would be to bus him 23 miles to another county/district/city every day. Nope, next idea? Maybe our own district could work something out? Now we’re talking. I emailed the teacher, principal, and superintendent to ask a few questions, let them know that busing him is not something we are willing to even think of for many reasons. I need to make an appointment to go speak to the superintendent after the holidays. I’m not one of those Moms who is going to go away. I will fight to the death to get my little guy what he needs to learn and grow. So HA!

I’m not sure if I posted about your newest addition. We have a sweet little pooch named Otis. He is a Jack Russell terrier puppy. The vet guesses that he is around 5 months old. We broke him though! We had an accident and his left front paw got hurt. I took him to the vet and they X-rayed it and he has three little broken bones. He’s in a “spoon splint” for 5-6 weeks (that was 3 weeks ago). John took him yesterday to have his splint replaced and they said only 2 more weeks. YAY! We’ve been keeping one of Timothy’s socks over it because he will NOT leave it alone! He licks, or chews, or tugs at it, and the sock keeps him from doing that. We started out with a red one, and now it’s yellow. He’s a little sweetie pie, and loves playing with the kids, and they all love him too.

Here are a couple of pics from Christmas, I’ve got another post coming soon too!

The tree after Santa was done!

Woohoo!! New Spongebob Pjs!!

Olivia & Kati the fun was just beginning!!

Joe & Nonnie (my Mom)

Timothy making breakfast for all of us after the presents where all open!
He LOVES pretending!! He is very nurturing and sweet!
Have I mentioned that I LOVE my kids lately?! :)

Sharing

2011-12-16T16:01:00.000-06:00

I will post an update soon, but I wanted to play along with something that another bloggy friend is doing.

We tend to get so caught up in our daily lives, the busyness, the kids, the errands, the bills, work, home, friends. Sometimes we forget to think about ourselves and the things that matter to us personally, hobbies, spending a moment in the Word, going out with a friend. This time of the year we lose focus easily. I laugh with my friend Chrissy all the time about losing my train of thought because something shiny caught my eye and poof, I’m hooked! J

Sometimes thinking about the small things is hard when we are so busy. Sometimes our smallest delights are overlooked because we are focusing on the big picture. One of the things I enjoy doing is giving. I don’t give to receive. I give because it is something that I am blessed by.

So… here is where the fun begins… you have heard about paying it forward, right? I would like to challenge my friends… keep reading…

Rules:

1. I will make a little something for the first 3 people that comment on this post. It will be a surprise and may arrive at any time in the next 365 days (yes, a year).

2. To sign up to receive a gift from me you must play along too. Share the giving love on your blog by promising to send a handmade goodie to the first three people that comment on your blog post.

3. You must have a blog.

4. After commenting on my post, you have to post this (or similar) on your blog to spread the love. If you haven't posted in 48 hours then the next commentor will be chosen.

I don't know if three people will even get around to commenting on this, But if you do within the next week, you will get a random goodie from me! When you comment please leave your e-mail and I'll email you and get your address and then you will get something from me sometime before December 2012!

So who's up for the challenge. Ready, set, LOVE!!!

Wednesday... er... Thursday... er... Friday... OK, it's Saturday!!

2011-11-27T00:07:00.000-06:00

I started this post on Wednesday!!! Instead of deleting it though, I just did a little run down of the weekend!! Enjoy! hehe

Wednesday

It’s the day before Thanksgiving. When I think back to last year, and the craziness that was going on, I can honestly say that this year is a bit better! LOL Last year I was dealing with jet lag and my family wasn’t speaking to me.

This year, no jet lag! LOL My siblings are still being stupid, but at least I have my Mom this year. We are having a nice little Thanksgiving day celebration here with my little family, and Mom. All the same fixings as any other Thanksgiving. This is the second year that we’ve just stayed at home, and to be honest, I’m really liking it. I don’t have to worry about everyone behaving at someone else’s house. We can stay in our jammies as long as we want, cook, watch the parades, eat… it’s nice. Mom is spending the night so that we can get up early and get the turkey in the roaster. YUMMY!!

Emotionally I’m in a different place this year too. We’ve had Timothy home for a whole year now, and I’m not trying to fall back into some sort of routine. And, best of all… while I do still miss them, I’m not feeling as raw about the other members of my family and the way they’ve been treating us, and Mom. If my Dad was still alive... well… I won’t finish that sentence…

The list of things I am thankful for is pretty simple. I’m thankful for my family, my Mom, John and my four awesome, talented, smart, and beautiful kids(and of course John’s family too even though they are hundreds of miles away!). I’m thankful for the blessings that God has given me this year, a roof over our head, reliable vehicles, and jobs. I’m thankful for my Friends. If not for my friends, I’m not too sure I would have made it through this past year. The support, encouragement, and love of my friends has absolutely carried me through some really icky places in the past year. I’m thankful for my daycare kids and families and that God has blessed me with a full house again.

I hope that each of you have a WONDERFULLY BLESSED THANKSGIVING!!! I am thankful for you!!!

Thursday

Our Thanksgiving celebration was very nice. We all enjoyed the day with the Macy’s Parade, lots of food, shopping at a couple of stores that had special sales, and of course pie! Hehe The turkey was wonderful (well, all of the food was!)!!

I decided to send my “traditional” text to my siblings, just a “Happy Thanksgiving”. Nada. Nothing. Crickets… So, I’m on “ignore” now. I changed the setting on my Facebook, and won’t bother to send anymore messages wishing happiness on holidays or Birthdays. I’m done. I think the thing that really cinched it was that neither of them even called or sent my Mom a text to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving. I mean, wow…

I hope you all had a wonderful day!!

Friday

Actually, this should be just a continuation of Thursday!! We went out at 9pm and stayed out ALL night!! We had so much FUN!! I didn’t have any “big ticket” items on my list so that made for a much more pleasant shopping experience. LOL I got the usual pajamas, LOTS of great deals on DVDs, and a few other things from the kids’ wishlists, and a few odds and ends. Mom and Chrissy were with me. We started at Walmart, then on to Kohls. After that, Target, ShopKo, and Joann’s. We had breakfast at Perkins, and then a quick stop at Menards and Hobby Lobby and we were DONE!! Well, ok, not done, but out of money!! LOL I still have bunches of things to buy, and really should take inventory of the wrapping paper tote to see if I need to get any more of that.

I was home by 9 am and in bed around 9:30!! John and the kids let me sleep till around 3, but then they decided I better get up so I wouldn’t have a problem sleeping at night. We ordered pizza for supper and Mom was coming to get some leftovers for her supper but I convinced her to stay and have pizza with us, so she did, and took her leftovers home for later. Hehe

Saturday

We were supposed to go to the downtown Christmas parade but the weather today was rotten!! Timothy was asked to ride with “Little Miss Des Moines County” in her convertible, but with the wet, cold, icky weather, I thought it best that we didn’t go out. She was so disappointed! I am hoping that they will ask him to ride with her in the parade in the summer though. He just loves her, and she him, and I know he would ham it up and have a great time!

I cleaned the house today and ran to the store for a few groceries. Other than that though, we just stayed in out of the rain. I did a little re-organizing of my stamping/scrapbooking area. I have moved downstairs from my upstairs room to the dining room. With the two little ones, I just can’t take the time away from everyone to go upstairs to scrap/stamp anymore. I miss having my little oasis, but at least this way I can scrap/stamp amongst the family and I’m not so isolated (not that that was a bad thing hehe). I find I am getting much more done since I can just work for a few minutes here and there. I also did an overhaul of my Cricut cartridges. I needed to reorganize them and such, so I did that this evening.

I’m actually feeling quite accomplished!

Ok… I better post this before it ends up being a week long!!

What were you doing on Tuesday, November 16th, 2010??

2011-11-15T10:26:00.000-06:00

Last year, November 16^th was a Tuesday. Most people wouldn’t know that, or really care much because it was just another day but I will never ever forget it. I had barely slept the night before because I knew what that day meant. Cathy, Tully, & I had a lot of things to do, we had to pick up the passports, we had to finish packing, and cleaning the apartment (the landlady already hated us so we wanted to make sure not to leave too much of a mess for her to reinforce that opinion LOL!)… then we each had to go to the orphanages and pick up our children, forever changing their lives and all that they knew.

Last year, this day, Tuesday, was Gotcha Day. The day that Marina Hope Bachman & Timothy Danil DeLlanos would leave the orphanage forever in the arms of their Mommas.

The plan that day was for us to go to our regular morning visits. I decided not to go though because it would be just me and Timothy from that day on for the rest of our trip, and because I wanted him to have a little more time with his groupa/friends although he didn’t really know it at the time, and I wonder how much he remembers anyway. LOL I took the time to rest, pack, and finish up last minute things. We all had lunch at the apartment, and at 1 pm Roman picked us up and we headed for the Passport office. Tully & Evan stayed at the apartment.

When we got to the passport office, we had to wait a few minutes. Roman was our translator/facilitator for this errand since Marina (our actual facilitator) was in a different city with another family for their court date. We had been given some papers to hand over in exchange for the children’s passports. We gave them the requested papers, and continued to wait. We were taken to a tiny office and told to sit. We sat. There were three ladies there, one of them was speaking pretty excitedly to Roman, complete with some hand gestures and scary facial expressions. Cathy whispered that something was wrong. She just knew they decided to keep Marina (the child) and weren’t going to give her the passport. Of course, this was sarcasm, and totally said in jest. Nevertheless, we could tell something was wrong. Roman was a pale color, and was talking to the lady in a pleading tone. Then, our suspicions were confirmed when he called Marina and had HER talk to the passport lady. Of course, Cathy and I were sitting there in the dark, and Roman finally (out of the corner of his mouth(as if they would understand him! Hehe)) said, the name on Marina Bachman’s paper from the orphanage was wrong. Before they would give her passport over, it needed to be redone. This would mean going all the way back across town, hoping that the right person was available to get the paper redone, and coming back to the passport office all within about a 30 minute window so we wouldn’t miss the 5pm train which we already had tickets bought for. Now, anyone who’s been to Ukraine knows that such a feat is NOT gonna happen!! Traffic & timing are two things that are NUTS there! So, all we could do is pray. In the meantime, Marina was working her magic. Promising that she would be back to the city that night and would get the paperwork snafu taken care of ASAP if they would just PLEASE give us the passports. I’m not sure what she said to the lady (and I don’t think I wanna know!) but she reluctantly hung up the phone and proceeded with the “check out” process so we could take the passports. When they finally handed them over, Roman ushered us out quickly joking that we needed to hurry before they changed their minds! Lol

Once we were safely back in the car and headed back to the other side of town, Cathy and I finally breathed again, and we also noticed a HUGE vibrant rainbow in the sky… God’s Promise. Very appropriate for us at that moment, and one more thing to make the day memorable. We were so relieved that we were laughing, and crying. LOL

We went back to the apartment where we loaded up two vehicles and parted ways temporarily. My driver took me to Timothy’s baby house, to get Timothy, and Roman took the Bachmans to get Marina from her orphanage.

I’ll never forget the emotions, and the relief I felt that afternoon as I walked into the baby house for the last time… we did what needed to be done, and had a couple of tearful good byes with nannies and the head nurse (Tatiana) and walked back through the big grey metal gate for the last time. The weather was misty and cold, and it was cloudy. We headed to the train station and to freedom for a sweet little boy who had NO idea what was in store for him!!

When I think about that day, it’s still so fresh, I can remember the feelings, the sights, the smells… I remember the panic of thinking that the Bachmans might not get to leave with me & Timothy, the relief when we got the passports, saying goodbye to Roman, my very own security rabbit, and the train ride to Kiev, Nico’s face when he saw/remembered all the bags we had… getting to the apartment and being in awe of how great it was… the kids’ first baths… it was a long day, but one that I will never forget. It was my first day of being Timothy’s caretaker.

It was our Gotcha Day. A day that changed the course of our lives forever. Happy Gotcha Day to our sweet little son. We love you more and more each day!!

Ooops!!

2011-11-12T19:26:00.000-06:00

Well, that month FLEW by!! LOL Seriously, how many blogs have I read that said “I’m such a bad blogger… I promise to get better… blah blah blah…” I give up!! NO more promises!!

So, here I am, for an update. Hehe

Let’s see… I received my Bachelors of Science, CUM LAUDE (thankyouverymuch!!) last week. YAY me!! LOL

John is working the day shift now, for the first time in, wow, I’m not even sure how many years. He really likes his job, and the day shift is something he’s wanted so I think all might be right with his world. Hehe I will admit, it will be strange having him home for supper every night. Not to mention having to share the TV with him in the evenings… LOL

The big kids are doing pretty well. Kati had a part in the Junior High play last night. She has been working hard for weeks, and it all paid off, they did a great job with it. Joe made the “high” Honor roll with straight As this quarter. Unfortunately, Kati is grounded for her grades. Not because she doesn’t know what she is doing, but because she hasn’t done what she is supposed to (homework, study, etc).

The little kids are doing very well too!! Olivia is reading!! Five years old… and reading!! Her teacher had nothing but good to say about her at our recent conference. She is so smart, and so clever, and so adorable. I have to tell you, she loves her “little” brother SO much! Timothy will be transferring to another school in January(I’ll explain that in a bit), and when I was telling the kids about it she got SO upset. She just cried and cried. She goes in and “checks on him” in his classroom every morning. I’m sure it’s more for her than for him, he doesn’t really notice her. LOL She just is so protective of him. She was so upset to think that she won’t be able to check on him anymore, and that he will be all alone at another school.

Our state says that little ones cannot be in the pre-school program after they turn 6. Timothy will be 6 in February. We had talked about his options when this school year started. If he was learning and catching up in most areas, we’d integrate him into the Kindergarten at our school. If he was still lagging behind and it didn’t seem like he’d be able to do well, we would have to transfer him to our neighboring district where they have a self-contained special ed class for the younger kids. Our school isn’t really set up for the little ones, and especially with Timothy’s language issues (or lack of as the case may be). SO… in January he will be bussed to the other school. Sometime between now and then I’ll be meeting with everyone and we’ll set things up and get the plan in place for him. His IEP meeting is in April (I think) but we’ll have to meet sooner than that for this to all happen. As his Mom, I want what will be best for him, and if it means switching schools, that’s what we’ll do. The long term goal (no matter how long it takes) is to get him “caught up” and back in our own district.

On the home front, he is doing AWESOME!! He understands everything we say to him and he does respond appropriately, even though he doesn’t use words, he is very good at getting his wants/needs across. Hehe He’s very much integrated into the family.

Sometimes it seems like just yesterday that we were in Ukraine, and other times it feels like it was so long ago.

Our “Gotcha-versary” is coming up on the 16^th , and on the 20^th is his one year anniversary of being home!! A lot has happened in this year…I’ll be posting more about that in the next few days. J

I'm also thinking of giving my blog a facelift...

We ARRIVED!!

2011-10-12T09:03:00.000-05:00

Well... last year that is! :) Last year at this time, we were in Kiev, Ukraine. Things were exciting, and scary, and different, and we had NO idea the turn our lives were about to take. I remember landing in Kiev and thinking, "We're here, we're really here". It was surreal.

Last night I read through my posts from last year at this time. Things are so different. The stuff that happened with my family, my Mom, and my daycare families hadn't happened yet, and all was still good in my world. There are things I would change in a second if only I could. The main thing though is that I can say today, right this moment, that I would not change the main picture one bit.

The main picture is Timothy. He loves us, and his brother and sisters, and Nonnie(Grandma). He goes to school. He is healthy. He is safe. He is happy. He has his favorite bear. He loves french fries. And HE is LOVED. He is wanted. He is HOME.

OH WHAT A DAY!!!

2011-10-09T10:34:00.000-05:00

I have totally messed up the 31/21 challenge this year! Sheesh… I think I kept it up last yr, and part of the time I was traveling and in Ukraine!!

We had a VERY interesting day yesterday!! You have to read to the end of this post though, I’m telling you, it just keeps getting … umm… better… LOL

The day started out early. We loaded everyone up and headed to Cedar Rapids for the Down Syndrome Buddy Walk. I was pretty excited, and the kids were all pretty curious. Hehe All four of the kids, me, and my Mom on our way by 7:30am. Cedar Rapids is at least a 1 ¾ hourish drive and I wasn’t completely sure where I was going once we got into the city, so we were leaving early so we’d have plenty of time…. Umm… yeah, sounds good in theory… lol

Let’s just say that I should have printed the map that went along with the directions from Mapquest. Lesson: Rockford Rd has a much smaller sign than the other streets!

So, we get to the venue, get inside, and find the Smiths who have set up the RR table (and probably already been there for like hours!), and introduce ourselves. I have to tell you that my girls both just LOVE Nevin!! He is so funny, and sweet, and outgoing! We helped him sell his goodies while we passed out our RR stuff and talked to people about the kiddos. I met a BUNCH of really nice people and got to talk to them about Ds, our kids, our adoption, RR, and just general stuff too! The kids were all so good, other than Olivia melted down a bit at one point but once we figured out what her problem was, and fixed it she was good to go too. Really, the drama that this girl throws into things sometimes makes me really worry about her teen years. LOL Kati also got Nevin to autograph her T-shirt. Hehe

While we were at the BW, we entered some Raffles. We actually WON some great stuff too!! The girls won a whole set of “American Girl” books, $20 gc for Walmart, and an oil change/filter/lube from a local place which I shared with the Smiths since I didn’t think that driving to Cedar Rapids for an oil change would really benefit my vehicle. Hehe

After the Buddy Walk it was off to Marion to surprise my “niece” at work(she works at Culver’s) and meet up with her Dad for lunch. He is my sister’s ex but we have stayed in touch and are friends, and love to see them when we are in the area. WE were the ones surprised too because he had my youngest niece(my sister’s youngest) for the weekend and didn’t tell me when we were making our plans. I squeezed her so hard her little head almost popped off when I saw her! I really miss her (and my other nieces and nephew). The kids had a blast catching up with her, and she got to meet Timothy for the first time. Christa was surprised when she saw us, and really excited when she saw Mom was with us too! We had a nice visit and lunch, and headed out for the trip home, and our detour in Iowa City to shop for a bit.

About halfway to IC, the “check engine” light came on in the van. I said a prayer, and asked God to please let us make it safely to IC. Please? Just as we were making the last off ramp (about 2 miles from IC), something happened and I couldn’t get the van above 50mph. My heart fell into my stomach, and my stomach jumped into my throat, and I just prayed over and over, “Please just a little further, please…” I needed to get us off of the interstate and as close to civilization as I could so that we weren’t stranded on the side of the road too far to be able to get out and be safe, especially since all of the kids were with me.

After what seemed like forever, in actuality it was about a mile, we got off of the interstate at the exit to Coralville, right across from a major mall (that was my target stopping place if we could just make it). The next thing to worry about was stopping at the traffic light and getting moving again once it changed so that we could get through a VERY busy intersection and into the mall parking lot. We made it though!! I was frazzled and scared and upset at the idea of being stuck still 90 miles from home and NO clue how we would get the van fixed or home or whatever. But, we were safe, and I was able to find a parking place relatively close to the building that I could pull straight through so that the van was facing out in case someone needed access to the engine. Shrug, I dunno… We all got out, and headed inside.

Thus began the desperate phone calls. First I called John who thankfully had to work yesterday. If he hadn’t had to work, he would have been with us and it might have been a bit more complicated, not that it wasn’t already! He set off to call the insurance, the car dealership, and a tow truck. I took on the task of finding someone who could just drop everything and come to IC to help get us all home. I texted a couple of people. Both had plans that they couldn’t change or get out of. The NERVE of my friends to make plans with their families on a Saturday! Sheesh… I actually had thought that one of them was in IC because she had mentioned that they were planning to go there earlier in the week. They weren’t though, plans had changed, and they were still in Burlington. After about an hour of crazy phone calls between me, John, Stacey, and Nicki, we had a plan. I am SO happy that the Coral Ridge mall has an indoor climbing/play spot (free!) for the little kids to occupy them while all of this was going on! I had also posted our situation to Facebook and begged for prayers knowing that only God would be able to work out all of the crazy details and also knowing that my friends would have me “covered”!

John got a tow arranged for the van but it would be awhile because they were finishing another job. Ok, no problem, we were ok at the mall. The dealership had a loaner mini van that we could borrow for the weekend and would have it waiting anytime we were able to get there to get it. John would have to leave work to come get us but since his truck isn't big enough for all 7 of us to ride, I arranged for Stacey to come too and help with getting us home. Since it was getting near supper time and the little kids were getting a little cranky with playing, we all agreed it was time for some supper. ALL. THE. WAY. AT. THE.OTHER.END.OF.THE.MALL. This little tidbit will be important in a minute.

As we moseyed toward the food court, my cellphone rang and it was one of my scrapbooking buddies here in Burlington offering her big van to get us all home. I was so touched, and grateful, but had to decline since everyone was already on their way.

Just as we got to the food court, my phone rang again. It was the tow service calling to tell me that their truck was outside waiting. WOW, that was FAST! Ok, so I hurriedly left instructions for Kati to help everyone get what they needed, and Mom stayed with all of the kids, and I took off alllll the way back to the other end of the mall to meet the tow truck at the van. Huff, puff, huff, puff… LOL! When I got outside, he was already backed up to the back of the van. He got out and introduced himself. I asked if he knew where to take it and he said yes, and told me the place, and our city. As he was filling in the paperwork, I got the stuff that the kids had brought, Mom’s bag, etc. from the van. When I was done, he pulled the van up onto the flat bed, and that was that. I gave him the keys and headed back into the mall lugging (literally) all of our bags which included Kati’s 75 pound purse full of books and other various dead weight… and off went the van on the back of a flatbed.

Whew… I was finally beginning to settle down knowing that things were going to work out.

Oh but there’s more!!

Just as I was nearly back to the food court, my phone rang. It was the tow service that John had called. “I need to know where your van is located and which mall entrance to use to get to it”… WHAAAAT!!!???? OMG!!!! I knew that the truck that had come was not the service John had arranged, but I assumed that they had arranged for someone else since their driver was delayed. The guy knew the info, was actually pulled in RIGHT to our van in the parking lot… when I asked him, HE told me where he was taking it, I didn’t tell him, so I didn’t even question that he was supposed to be there. But then, if that had been the case, WHY was this guy asking me where to go pick up the van!!??? I told him I would call him right back, I needed to figure this out! In reality, I needed to sit down so I didn’t PASS OUT!!! I had just given my van away!!! I made it to the food court and literally fell into the chair!! I called John to find out what if he knew what had just happened… he was actually at the mall, so I just waited for him to get parked.

In the meantime, I’m babbling… going over the scenerios with Mom, and trying to figure out what I’d just done. John called the two guy and told him we didn’t need him afterall, and what had happened. He was not happy and said that he’d get back to us to let us know what we owed him for his wasted trip. Mom and I had decided that it HAD to have been the insurance company that sent the other truck, so I was feeling a tad better about giving my keys to a strange guy.

When John came in, I went over everything that had just happened again. He was a little worried though because he had told the insurance lady that HE would arrange for the tow. I realized that I had the number for the place that took the van because they had called my cell to let me know that they were there. I called them back, explained who I was and asked who had called them… it was the insurance company. OMG… for the third time in that many hours, I was ready to just PASS OUT!! John was upset that they hadn’t listed when he told them he’s make the arrangements, I was trying to get the blood flow back to all of the parts of my body that had just drained out after hearing the newest development, and Mom and the kids were just cracking up at all of the crazy things that had just transpired!!

We were still waiting for Stacey, so John and I got something to eat, the kids went over to ride the carrousel, and we just settled down for a few minutes. When Stacey got there, I went over the whole hysterical story with her, and we all had a good laugh.

The last little bit of fun was Kati’s fortune cookie from supper “A sudden change in plans will bring you good fortune”. Wow… talk about timing!! Very appropriate given the last several hours!! TOOOOO FUNNY!!

When we got back to Burlington, we dropped Timothy off at home with Kati, Joe, and Olivia whom Stacey had just dropped off, and John and I went to the dealership (they were closed but had left the loaner van for us with the key in a place that we knew to look).

Frankly, at this point I was STILL praying that our van would be there too! I was relieved to pull around the corner and see it sitting there as if nothing was even wrong. WHEW!!!

WHAT a FIASCO!!! We still don’t know how much this is all going to end up costing until we call in the morning and find out what’s wrong with the minivan, and the TWO tow services. So we’re still really praying for it to be under warranty, but we are HOME, and safe, and had a good day despite the devil’s trying to mess it up for us!

We are so blessed to have such great friends, and to have our God who even in the midst of ALLLLL of that, was right here with us to protect us from what could have been a MUCH worse ordeal with the van!!!!

Oh, and Kati’s take on the day is “It was the best day ever”!!! Suuure, she’s 14 and doesn’t have to worry about the added grey hairs that *I* have sprouted!!

Down Syndrome Awareness month!

2011-10-01T23:16:00.000-05:00

I have a confession to make. No, I haven’t killed anyone, or robbed a bank… My confession is that two years ago if you had told me that October is Down Syndrome Awareness month, I might have said something like, “Oh, that’s interesting” or “Ok”. Did it really matter? Eh, not so much.

Does it matter now? Hmm, yeah, a little. Why? Because I’ve experienced Down syndrome in a different way over the course of the last year and a half. I learned new words… dossier…home study…trisomy 21… Timothy… I’ve mentioned my friend Bethany before on the blog. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God put Bethany into our lives to prepare us for Timothy. For our own “awareness”.

I’d like to give some statistics about Down syndrome, and since I have accepted the “31 for 21” challenge, I have plenty of time to do that. Hehe

I have been so reflective for the last few weeks. Thinking about what was happening this time last year. We flew across the world on October 11, 2010. How appropriate that we met our little guy for the very first time in October. It was in October that Down syndrome became personal to our family. To some that might sound like a scary, sad, or devastating thing. For us, it was a wonderful, special, gift from God.

Because of Down syndrome, our lives have been touched, and changed, and will never be the same. Thank you God!

Have you ever had one of "those" kind of weeks??

2011-09-30T09:11:00.000-05:00

Well, it’s only been a week since my last post, but I thought I’d try to get back in the swing of things. It’s been a tough week.

On Saturday, my friend Lisa unexpectedly lost her Dad. He had been ill, had a pacemaker put in and was on the upswing. Things were getting better and he was sent home. By Saturday, he was not doing well, and told his wife that he thought he’d better go to the hospital and get things checked out. By then though, things had progressed to the “too far” stage, and he passed away Saturday morning. This was just 2 weeks after another friend, Karen, lost her husband. Going to the funeral home last night to pay my respects was hard. Things were very similar to the way things happened when my Dad passed away. We just really expected him to get up and want a cheeseburger for supper. When he didn’t, we were all in a state of shock for a little while.

Sunday night, the phone rang. When the phone rings after 10pm, you know it’s not a good thing. When I saw on the caller ID that it was a daycare mom, I just figured she needed to let me know that her kids would be here. If only… Her water had broken. While this would normally be a pretty exciting thing to hear, it was not. She was only 24 weeks pregnant. It was way too soon. I asked if she wanted me to pick up the kids, or if they would bring them on the way to the hospital (they live 2 blocks from here). They would drop them off. When they pulled up, I ran out and got two half a sleep, stunned kiddos and brought them in and settled them in on the pallets I had made for them on the floor. They both went right back to sleep. I didn’t really sleep very well the rest of the night for thinking about what was going to happen. The Mom called me the next morning to let me know that their baby boy had been born, but he was just too little, and didn’t make it. His funeral was yesterday. I just can’t even fathom the pain involved in having to bury a child.

It’s been a sad few days. And while none of those things happened directly to me, they happened to people who are important to me, my friends. Its times like those that you wonder why God can’t let us in on His plans before we have to go through such heartbreak.

I have other friends who are experiencing their own types of heartbreaks. One family is plagued by a very evil family member who is spreading lies, and trying to cause problems for them and their adoption of their little girl. Another is doubting whether bringing home their son is what God really has for them, and if it is, why isn’t He providing the money that they need? And there are so many others…

Add to that the stress of being called back to do a “more detailed” mammogram and I can honestly say it’s been a really tough few days… I will say though that after the initial hour of squooshing and tugging and taking pics, all is OK with the mammo. THANK YOU GOD!!!

I am looking forward to an uneventful weekend!! Next weekend is the Cedar Rapids Buddy Walk, and we are going! I can’t wait!!

The happy... then sad...

2011-09-22T22:56:00.001-05:00

I have to admit that I have been working on shifting my “focus” lately. I have gotten back to making cards and have a bunch for sale at a local shop (American Dreams… Consign by Design). It’s been fun to be creative again. I’m going to my bi-annual Scrapbooking Retreat next month, so I’ve been printing a lot of digi stamps to take along and color and make cards when I get tired of doing pages. LOL

Of course, getting scrappy again means that my blog has been neglected. Sorry!!

School is going well for everyone. Timothy is back in Pre-school for now. He might end up in Kindergarten though, so we’ll see. Tomorrow is school picture day! I really need to take all of the kids and have a group pic done! Maybe I’ll call my photographer friend Amy and see if she wants a challenge… hehe

I have been thinking about this time last year. We were submitted on September 16 of last year. It’s hard to believe that we’re coming up on a year since we brought our boy home. When I see the changes in him since we met… it’s really unbelievable.

Today has been a day of thinking about “At this time 14 years ago… “ Today is Kati’s 14th Birthday. She was born at 10:42pm on Monday, September 22. I remember every detail of that day. I remember thinking that we would be a family of four before I went to sleep that night. I was right. Although, if you ask Sam VanDenburg, he would tell you that she was born in the “middle of the night”. Hehe

I’ve also been thinking about a day only two short years ago. I remember every detail of that day too, but not because it was Kati’s 12th Birthday. I remember the day two years ago because it was the last day my Dad was alive. He really wasn’t “there” that day, but he didn’t pass until 1:40 am on the 23rd. That last day though, he was moved to Hospice house. He had been disconnected from all of his tubes and wires. He only had his oxygen, which he had had 24 hrs a day for a while before that. He looked so peaceful, and so “normal”. We took the kids to visit him so they could see that he was peaceful. They got to talk to him, and let him know that they loved him without all the trauma of the hospital.

The nurses and I convinced Mom to go home and get some rest, shower, whatever. . She left around 8. I sat with Dad alone, I had the TV on to NCIS. I chit chatted just like I would have if he was watching too Kati had been with her friend Kelsi and her Mom for the evening, they brought her to me at Hospice House so she could visit with Grandpa for a bit too. She told him about her day, and reminded him that it was her 12th Birthday. We all knew it wouldn’t be long before we lost him, but I had hoped all day that it wouldn’t happen on her Birthday. Before we left, I leaned over and told him that it was ok to go if he needed to, and that I would take care of Mom and not to worry about her, but if he could please wait a few hours until Kati’s Birthday was over. As we left, I told him we’d come back the next day and we went home.

At 1:38 am the phone rang, it was Mom telling me that they had called from Hospice, he was fading pretty quickly. I told John as I was getting up and putting on my clothes in the dark… even in his sleepy state, he thought enough to note the time and said, “It’s not the 22nd anymore”.

On the way to Hospice that morning, I turned on the radio and the last part of the song “Toes” by Zac Brown Band was playing…

“Adios and via con Dios
Going home now to stay

I'm just gonna drive up by the lake
And put my ass in a lawn chair, toes in the clay
Not a worry in the world, a PBR on the way
Life is good today, life is good today”

I knew then that he was gone, even before I got to HH. I had to laugh… in his day, Dad drank a lot of PBR(Pabst Blue Ribbon beer)… and we spent a lot of time sitting outside in lawn chairs… but the words fit so well… Goin home now to stay…

When I got there, they told us that he was gone. Probably about the same time I was listening to those words…

I remember all of the details of that day… up to that point… I remember calling my sister and brother and them coming too. John came too. We all took a little while to just be together. I don’t remember what time we left, but I wanted to be home before the kids woke up. I wanted to be there to tell them.

So, while 14 years ago tonight I was celebrating the birth of my first daughter and a new chapter of our lives, two years ago tonight I was saying goodbye to my Dad and another new chapter of our lives was beginning.

I miss him. More than I ever imagined I would. I miss his laugh. And, silly as it will sound, I miss his cough/clearing his throat. LOL I miss the way he called me “Sis” even as an adult. I wonder what he would think of Timothy. I miss the relationship that he had with Olivia (they were buddies). I wonder what he would say about how things have been within our family this last year. I can almost hear him…

At the end he would fade in and out of being coherent. In one of his more lucid times, John was with him, and he asked John to pray with him. I know that someday we’ll see him again, and that helps but the sadness is still there… I miss him. I wish I could just talk to him one more time.

I promise to post pics tomorrow!! :)

Wow... almost the end of August!

2011-08-26T10:26:00.001-05:00

Update time! I know you have all been just waiting with bated breath. LOL

Let’s see… I know that there is a hurricane bearing down on the East coast, and pray that all of my friends who are in her path are safe and don’t get much damage. Having lived in the south most of my life, I have seen what those things can do, and it’s not pretty. Stay safe!!

The girls are at the doctor right now for their checkups. They called last week and had to reschedule, which is a good thing because I was planning to call them to do the same! I didn’t tell Olivia that there were shots involved. I hope she’s not too mad at me. Daddy took them and will drop them off at school when they are finished. No news there, just “well child” checkups, I hope.

Speaking of school, things seem to be going pretty well so far for everyone. Joe & Kati have had Algebra homework nearly every day, but to my delight, and surprise, they have been sitting together and helping each other with it. I know, I know… who ARE these two and what have they done with MY kids!? Olivia loves being a “big kid” and going to school. I hate her not having a nap though. I’ve been letting her go without one most of the summer but she just gets so cranky. We’re going to be working on moving her bedtime back a little and see if that helps. I just need to convince her that now that her and Timothy are the same age, they need to go to bed at the same time. Hehe

John’s going back to school too. Ok, take a moment to giggle, roll your eyes, bang your head against the wall… lol I teased him yesterday because I think he’s going to make his career of being a student, but whatever. If he wants to do it, and can balance it all, more power to him! It’s all online, so at least he doesn’t have to fit in actual class time around his other commitments. I’ve been thinking about taking more classes too, but every time I think about it something else distracts me which pretty much means I don’t NEED anything else to do with my time right now! LOL

If you could spare a few extra prayers… pray for Reece’s Rainbow, and more specifically Andrea Roberts. God knows the needs (I don’t know all of them but He does!). Also, there are several families in process right now who need a prayer or two. Pray for the Parker family, they are going through a very tough time right now, and specifically for their 5 year old son, Joshua. And, lastly, for me. I’ve been having some really severe pain in my left arm (muscular, not anything related to heart attacks or anything). It really hurts, but I’m not really sure they could do anything so I haven’t gone to the doctor about it. If it gets any worse though, I will, I promise! J

Two posts in one!

2011-08-20T22:41:00.001-05:00

Friday:

Whew! What a day!! John decided to cut the tree down in the back yard (it needed to be done), mow the yard, and clean off the front porch which consequently led to a trip to the dump.

I have been sorting, filing, shredding, and reorganizing papers. Things that have literally been piling up. Played with the daycare kiddos, cooked, cleaned, and did the usual stuff with them. I had a fussy one though, so she needed some extra lovin’. Oh and one of the little boys peed in my recliner!! The joys of daycare. Hehe

I also got a wild hair and decided to make homemade pizza for supper. Generally this would entail rolling out premade refrigerated tube of pizza dough, opening a jar of sauce, and adding toppings and cheese. Yeah, ok, but I didn’t have any crust tubes or jar of sauce. LOL Time to Google… I made the dough AND the sauce from scratch! It was really pretty good too! Well, all of the kids said so except Kati who said that the school pizza was better. PB&J for her next time! LOL

I decided to end my day by coloring my hair. It’s so strange to do it with only one box of color!! I feel like I’m forgetting something. Hehe

Tomorrow is Olivia’s birthday party. We’re going to see the “Smurfs” movie, and then back home for cake and ice cream. My Aunt & Uncle are coming too!  I love having “company”.

Ok… almost time to rinse!!

Saturday:

Olivia’s party was a success!! We had a small group who went to the movies with us, we saw “The Smurfs”. I have to say, it was a cute movie. The kids seemed to enjoy it. I was very happy that everyone was good, no spills (pop or popcorn), only Timothy needed to go to the bathroom (4 times!). I think he was just doing it to be up and down. LOL John was a good sport though, he took him every time. Joe didn’t want to go but we had the older sister of one of the little guys, and me, John, Kati, & Mom to help. It was a nice little treat.

Afterward, we came home and my Aunt & Uncle, one of the daycare moms (and a younger one), and one of my other daycare families joined us for cake & ice cream. It was so nice to catch up with everyone, and I think everyone had fun too. Olivia loved the goodies that she got, we are so blessed. One of the girls stayed for a little while and played after everyone left, we’ve missed her, so it was nice to have her here for a bit.

I’ve had a chest/back thing going today. I had John take my BP, it was on the high side of OK (139/90), so that’s good. I don’t know if it’s a muscular thing, or what, but it’s making me crazy! It’s hard to get a deep breath. I told John I just wanted him to know, just in case. Nothing else has happened though, so I think it’s probably muscular and not anything serious.

John did my vacuuming at the church tonight. He wanted to go over some music on the piano, so I was happy to let him. Hehe

Thursday already?

2011-08-18T17:19:00.002-05:00

Once upon a time… oh yeah, this is reality… lol

Been a busy few weeks around here! School started today. Joe is in 11^th grade, Kati is in 8^th, and Olivia is a full-fledged Kindergartener! Timothy will head back to Preschool the day after Labor Day. I can’t believe summer is wrapping up!

Kati missed the first day of 8^th grade for her Neurology appointment in Ia. City. The doc wants her to have an MRI & EEG, so we’ll be heading back up for that once they call with the appointment schedule. The girls both have “well” checkups tomorrow (with shots!).

Timothy’s meds are working well. It helps him focus more on just being a little boy. I have noticed that most of the impulsiveness is gone. Yes, he still gets into things but what kid doesn’t!? LOL He is able to sit and look at a book, or watch a program on TV, or play now without getting in trouble for doing things he isn’t supposed to. It’s wonderful for him and I know it will really help when he goes back to school in a few weeks! J

We did the shopping trip that I mentioned in the last post. We had a great day, and got lots of good stuff too!! The kids were all quite pleased with their new school clothes and shoes. We had lunch at the mall which is always a good idea since there are several places to choose from.

I did a RAK(random act of kindness) while we were there for lunch. One of the places that we shopped was Old Navy. They had a “cash” thing that if you spent a certain amount, you got a coupon worth an amount off of your next purchase (think Kohl’s cash). I ended up with $50! We got lots of fun stuff on clearance. Hehe Anyway, we don’t live near an ON, the closest one is 90 miles away. And, there was a certain time frame that this “money” was good for. So, while we sat there eating, I noticed the family next to us. There were two women, and two young children. I went over to them and sat down as I was saying “Hi, I don’t normally do this, but… “ LOL I asked if they were local, yes. I asked if they ever shopped at Old Navy, yes, all the time! YAY!! I gave them the coupons I had just earned, and they knew JUST what they were and were SO happy to take them off my hands! J I just handed them over and wished them happy shopping! I knew that they would go to waste if I kept them, and that would be nuts if someone else could use them.

School registration happened earlier this month. On Tuesday, we had Open House. That is where we take the truckload of school supplies, nap mat, etc. to the school, meet the teachers, the “big” kids got their class schedules, and everyone gets to catch up with friends who are there for the same reason. It’s a little chaotic, but fun for the kids.

As we were leaving the Elementary school, my brother’s wife was coming in with my nephew. Of course, they didn’t speak, not even to the kids (which really bothers Olivia, whenever there is a family event or holiday she asks when they are going to not be mad at me anymore so we can invite them, my answer is always “I don’t know”). And, to make the evening complete, we ran into my nieces at the Middle/High school. My sister and middle niece were in the Middle School orientation ( I can’t believe she is in 7^th grade!). Kati & Olivia saw the girls, and they all chatted. I was hoping to get to say hello too (I wasn’t with them when they bumped into them). As we were getting ready to leave, I spotted them standing in the foyer, and as I walked toward them to say “Hello” the oldest looked up and saw me coming and took the youngest by the arm and said, “We need to go” , and drug her in the opposite direction. And, yes, I know she saw me… In the beginning I was told that “this is between you and us (meaning my siblings)” and that “it shouldn’t affect the kids”. Obviously though, that isn’t the case. I would love to say that it didn’t bother me by now but it breaks my heart that the kids have been drug into this whole stupid thing, and yep, I said stupid. It’s ridiculous. It’s gone on far longer than it should have, and it’s caused my Mom way more stress than the original issue. My sister even went so far as to call her and tell her that she is ruining her relationship with her other grandchildren by spending so much time with my kids.

The truth is my Mom is the only family I have left. I call her nearly every day just to chat about this or that, usually for no real reason. When we are doing something, I call and see if she wants to come along. If we are leaving town for whatever reason, I invite her along too. Sometimes she comes, sometimes she doesn’t. We have a “regular” weekend routine (groceries, lunch, errands) that we do together. We have gotten past the hurt, and the upset that happened almost a year ago, and moved on. What good would it have been to dwell on it? It’s not that she favors my kids, it’s that we take the time to invite her to do things with us, I call and chat (not just when I need things or when things are not going well). It’s not that she chooses to do things with us over the others. Like I said, sometimes she comes, sometimes not… but we have fun when she is with us, and I will not apologize for that.

I would love to know the real reason everyone is still holding their grudges. I know things will never be like they used to, but really… it sucks that we can’t even say “Hello” in public.

Oh well... guess I should stop rambling and figure out what to feed my lil monsters for supper... hehehe I'll be back with pics later!!

Back to school shopping anyone??

2011-08-05T23:14:00.000-05:00

It’s nice to know that in this tough economy some things don’t change. This weekend is the Iowa Sales Tax holiday for apparel/shoes. I know it’s not much, but when you have to buy underwear for four kids and two adults, it adds up! Hehe

So, tomorrow, the kids, Mom and I will load up and head to the Quad Cities to do some shopping in some different stores than what we have here in our lil burg. Even if we go to the same places, they usually have different stuff. Anyway, I’m looking forward to hitting Old Navy, Shoe Carnival, Kohl’s, Michaels, JoAnn’s… Ok, I know those last two aren’t clothing retailers but I can’t go up there without a little “other” shopping! LOL

We just finished Day 2 of what Olivia calls Timothy’s “settle down” medicine. She’s so cute. Anyway, it takes about 45 minutes to kick in, and lasts about 9ish hours. I’ve been paying attention to when he starts acting out again, and it’s been pretty consistent both days. Last night though, he was up in the middle of the night for several hours. The doctor told me it was ok to give him melatonin if he wakes in the middle of the night, so I did, but it didn’t really work. Made for a very short night! We just need to get used to the med I think. It’s all new. I have to admit, it doesn’t make him a zombie, but it does chill him out a little, and it is really a good thing! He seems more “normal”, yes, still gets into things, argues with the other kids, etc, BUT, he plays with the other kids, he sits still and actually watches TV for a few minutes, and will sit down and look at a book or play with a toy. I didn’t even have to ask “Where’s Timothy?!” because it was quiet, I just had to look and I’d see him playing or whatever. It was so much better.

I know that to some that sounds horrible. I don’t mean for it to. If you don’t have a child with ADHD, you will not completely understand, and that is Ok because it’s all new to me and I had NO idea until I met Timothy! LOL If you do though, you understand. I love my little guy, but he is so exhausting! I have a feeling that taking his medicine will help him in school too! We shall see…

Locks of Love donation 2011

2011-08-03T20:15:00.001-05:00

I took the kids to get hair cuts this morning. I've been growing mine out for about two years to donate to Locks of Love. Chrissy measured it for me and we decided it was long enough (12ish inches to donate!). Soooo... we went for it!! Here's the results!!

Here's the ponytail! We didn't think to take a "before" pic. DUH!

Here's the back! Ignore the little "bald" spot, we fixed that after
the pic was taken. LOL

And the front/side. Kati chopped off the top of my head in the other
ones too! LOL

Just life...

2011-08-01T22:50:00.000-05:00

Let’s see, what’s the news from my little corner of the world.

Not much of anything really! LOL

We went to our county fair on Saturday. Timothy’s first time! Oh my, he was SO NOT impressed with the animals! Hehe Actually, I wonder though, if it was the flies that he was freaking out about. He gets totally crazy when he sees one in the house!

I registered the kids for school today. Gulp!! We have a Junior(Joe), an 8^th grader(Kati), a Kindergartener (Olivia), and a Preschooler(Timothy). As the parent of a Junior, I get to help with the Prom/Post Prom stuff too! I am SO not ready for this!! LOL!! I’m pleased with the teacher that Olivia got this year, and of course, Timothy will be back with Miss Kim. Love that too! I was a little nervous about Olivia and my nephew being in the same class but my brother’s wife probably requested that he not be in her class (we’d hate for her to be a bad influence on him dontcha know). Whatever…

I’m hoping that Timothy’s prescription comes tomorrow so I can get him started on it on Wednesday. I’d like for him to have been on it as long as possible before he goes back to school. The other kids go back on the 18^th of this month; he goes back on Sept. 7^th.

I guess our next big event is Olivia’s Birthday. She will be 5. It’ll be fun telling people I have two 5 yr olds and having them try to figure it out. Hehe I’m not sure what she wants to do for it yet, she has swung between Chuck E. Cheese(not likely), going to a movie and taking a couple of friends, and a few other things. It will be interesting to see what we end up with. LOL

This weekend is our Iowa tax free weekend for clothing/shoes. We have some shopping to do. I admit, it will be fun shopping for Timothy this year since I now know what size he wears! LOL

Ok… bedtime!

Daggum it!!

2011-07-26T22:52:00.000-05:00

Been thinking about writing a quick update for like a week now, and haven’t gotten to it, so I’m not sure now how quick it will be. Hehe

Joe, my oldest, turned *16* on the 20^th. Gulp!! We kept it pretty low key, he wanted to take his best bud with him to see the movie “Transformers: Dark of the Moon”, so that’s what we did. We did have cake and ice cream for him on his actual Birthday. Kati picked the cake, and added a few extra decorations… purple flowers, and pink and purple letters that said “Happy Birthday”. LOL I said, “Well, it IS your sweet 16!!” hehe He did see the humor in our silliness, so that made it even better. She also got him some Yu-gio cards that he’s been wanting, even if she did wrap them in Hello Kitty paper… LOL

My Dad would have been 80 on the 23^rd. My nephew turned 5 that day too. Of course, we weren’t invited to the party. Mom was, but she didn’t really think it was a good idea for her to go considering the junk that has happened with all of us(which is getting really OLD by the way!!). I took her over to where the party was and waited in the van(her choice since her car was in the shop) while she took his card to him, and gave him some hugs and kisses and wished him a Happy Birthday. She said a few words to my brother, and that was that. No one really asked why she wasn’t staying, etc. Of course my brother’s wife likely didn’t even care since we’re all such horrible people and how dare we/she try to ruin one of her parties… whatever… it was too hot for Mom to be outside for even a few minutes much less an hour or more. No matter, we had our own little party at my house. I made one of my Dad’s favorite chocolate cakes (Texas sheet cake), and we had supper and then cake and ice cream and talked about Dad, we laughed, we cried… it was really a nice evening. The kids had fun asking about the stories of when we were kids.

Today was Timothy’s appointment with the Ds doc in Ia City. She agreed that he definitely has ADHD, and would benefit from some medication. I’m so glad. I hope we can figure it all out in the next few weeks before school starts. I have to admit that I hope it helps, some days he is just exhausting. LOL

Olivia has been going to the school for Math lessons every day. She LOVES it!! She is so darn smart too!! Not that I’m biased or anything. Hehe

Well, I guess that wasn’t as long as it could have been! All of the kids are getting haircuts this weekend, so I’ll have some fun pics to share after that. It’s been a little while since I shared any cuteness!

Eight months!

2011-07-16T22:51:00.000-05:00

Today is Timothy (and Marina Bachman’s) *8* month Gotcha-versary!!

Eight months ago I grabbed my littlest boy, and walked through the big grey iron gate of Baby House #2, and didn’t look back. I have thought a lot about how different his life would have been if we hadn’t brought him home.

I’m not going to go there though. I know, you’re glad. Hehe

I’m going to tell you a few things about Timothy that have changed in the last 8 months…

- He understands everything we say to him. Yes, everything. Does he listen to all of it? He’s 5, what do you think? Hehe

- He can reach the lightswitches. Ok, not really, but this kid knows how to get what he wants, and he has figured out just which toy he can put over there to stand on to be able to reach!

- He initiates affection. When he came home, he accepted our lovies, but now, he gives them too. He didn’t know how to kiss. He has gone from just puckering up and touching our cheek or lips to full on pucker, and smack! He loves to give and receive smoochies!

- He has learned so many signs. He looooves his “Signing Times”! Thank you Auntie Cathy!!

- Ok, this one might not be a “good” thing, but it does show how typical he is… he has become the MASTER staller! When it’s bedtime, he needs no less than twenty “good night Timothy”, and kisses, and hugs, and a drink, and to go potty at least three times, and… hehe

- He has grown two shoe sizes (hey, that’s huge! He’s still in toddler sizes but we’re getting there!)!

- When he came home he wouldn’t try anything new (foods), lately, he will try things, he hardly ever likes them, but he will try!

- We very rarely see his usual “stimming” or his nervous/scared habits (biting the inside of his cheek, and grinding his teeth (I gotta tell you, I DO NOT miss that!)).

He is happy. How do I know this when he can’t really tell me with words? There is a sparkle in his eyes. The way he says “Yeah!” when you ask if he wants this or that. The way he grabs his shoes the second anyone mentions going “bye-bye”, oh and you better be ready when he is because if you aren’t, he is going without you! The way he gets so excited, and stands by the door yelling “NA” when Grandma pulls up.

Do we have tough days? OH yeah!! Who doesn’t?? Would we change things if we knew then what we know now about Timothy? Absolutely NOT!

Happy Gotcha-versary to our sweet, funny, crazy, little octopus boy!! We love you!!

As I sit here…

2011-07-14T21:04:00.005-05:00

The little kids are in bed, and the older two are reading and listening to music and I have Miss Clairol doing her magic on my hair (it take 2 boxes since it’s so thick and long!) for the next 45ish minutes, so I thought, “why not blog?”.

Of course that leads me to the question what to write about? LOL

I finished my second year as a Summer Enrichment teacher last week. It was fun, the kids were all so creative and sweet. Last year I did it for the extra money that we could put toward our adoption expenses. This year I thought I’d save the money. Until the dishwasher died! So, a new dishwasher it is! I’m very happy about that though. Hehe The second half of the money will be used to get the kids school supplies and shoes, clothes, undies, etc for school.

I remember this time last year having to hold myself back from buying any of the cute little boy clothes I saw because we were in USCIS ~~hell~~ limbo. It seems like yesterday, but also like it was so long ago.

I am so thankful that God has provided for us by filling up my daycare again. The months after we brought Timothy home were so financially difficult, we got behind on several bills, but there really was nothing we could do. God did provide for us, we didn’t go without food on the table, or a roof over our heads, or our other luxuries like power, internet, water… hehe But there were no extras and I learned to make the groceries stretch faaaaaar. These were good lessons to put back into practice though, so I am not complaining. God knew that we needed the time to bond with Timothy, and for him to get used to having other kids around (we still had two families even through the tough months who stuck it out) who would only be here for the day and then leave. It’s funny, now he tries to sneak out the door with them! Hmmm… ok, maybe that’s not really funny… hehe

The truth is, things with Timothy aren’t the fairytale that some people think. Yes, we are growing and bonding and our family is so much stronger because of our little guy. The problems aren’t really his “fault”, and we all know that and have to remember that even on the days that we have to take something away for the 4,983^rd time. Before you roll your eyes and say “Just get used to it, he’s a boy, he’s been “locked up” for his whole life”, etc. read on. I have been around a LOT of kids in my life, and have NEVER met any as active as him.

He has to be supervised 110% of the time. There is no “letting” him play in the bedroom, or go potty alone. He won’t sit and “read” books, or watch tv, or play a game, or play with playdough, or color a picture, or do a puzzle(either alone or with the group). He is constantly hitting, throwing, turning off the tv, grabbing things (telephone, remote, toys from other kids), or if the others are playing, he will disrupt by messing up the game, or taking something that they are playing with, etc. He has NO impulse control, and even when he gets in trouble it really has no effect on him to put him in time out (which is really someone holding him because he will not sit still for one minute much less the 3-5 that his age suggests). He is fast. He will swoop in and grab things he knows he isn’t supposed to mess with and run and laugh as you are chasing him down to get it back. Which is another thing completely, he is a “runner” so I have to keep the doors locked, which is hard with daycare, there are people needing to come in and out.

It’s not that he isn’t getting enough play time, or one on one time with us or other stimulation because someone is constantly with him, trying to get him to engage in something besides getting into things. Although, I will admit that sometimes toward the end of the day, we are just sitting holding him out of sheer exhaustion so we won’t have to chase him down again. So, the “negative” interaction isn’t the only attention he is getting. I will admit though that it is really frustrating to try to play with him most times because he just grabs and throws things. The other kids have pretty much stopped trying because it always ends up the same.

His sleep is crazy too. We have been using melatonin since we’ve been home, almost constantly, just to get him to nap and sleep at night. Nap usually lasts about an hour, and we put him to bed around 8pm and he is up within five minutes of me at 5am. I miss being able to get up and brush my teeth, do my morning business, and shower before having to face the day. Maybe that’s selfish, but it was the ONLY time I have totally alone, and now it’s gone. I do the house chores after he is in bed because trying to do anything while he is awake is futile. I won’t even tell you about how he is at mealtime (grabbing others’ plates, drinks, silverware, napkins, hitting anyone sitting close enough with his fork/spoon, pushing his plate so that he knocks over full cups... )... Oh, I guess I just did.

We all love him but we do miss the “freedom” of being able to cook, clean, go to the bathroom, and sleep, without wondering “Where’s Timothy?”.

Please don’t take this as a post about me wishing we had never brought him home because it is absolutely the furthest thing from the truth. We all love him so much, and even though it is like living with a lit firecracker, we are all so happy that he is a part of our family (just don’t ask us if we agree with that statement at the end of the day hehehe).

If I let myself think of where he would be right now if he wasn’t here, it makes my heart scream. The life that he might have had would have broken his spirit. They wouldn’t have had the time, patience, or staff that he would have needed since he is so active. Do you know what that would have meant? I’ll tell you, it would have meant that once they figured out that he is a crazy little monkey, they would have tied him to a crib. They would have tethered him to the chair at mealtimes. He probably wouldn’t have been taken outside because there he would have tried to run, and they don’t have time for that. Once he finally gave up fighting to get out, I have no doubt that he would have given up all together. He would have become one of the sad statistics instead of one of the happy ones.

And, no worries, we have an appointment with the Ds doc on the 26^th, so she’ll be evaluating him closely to determine if he indeed has ADHD (as the specialists suspected when we saw them last week!). She is one of the top docs in the nation when it comes to children with dual diagnosis of Down syndrome and ADD/ADHD so I am very confident that we’ll get some answers soon.

If not, maybe a Velcro wall for the time outs? Hehe Just kidding… sort of…

What day is it?

2011-07-09T21:17:00.000-05:00

Whew! What a week!! There were three Mondays this week!! LOL The real one was the 4th of July, so we were off. Which made Tuesday into Monday. That would have been fine, but then I had to take the day off on Wednesday because of Timothy's Ia City appointment. Ok, so that made Thursday our third Monday! LOL

Ok, so anyway, the big appointment came and went. I really didn’t learn much more than I already knew! LOL Go figure! Is that a bad thing? No, not at all. Fortunately, I also got confirmation from three people that we need to talk to the doc about ADHD. Thank you Lord!! We have an appointment with his Ds doc on July 26th. YAY!! They will likely want to do more evaluations once we have a plan in place for the ADHD since he wouldn’t be still long enough to really do any of the testing except the hearing. He has “low pressure” in his ear drums but his hearing is totally within normal perimeters, so nothing to worry about there either.

Since our appointment, I have realized that when I try to explain to people how active Timothy is, I don’t think they are really understanding. I have figured out how to describe it though, he needs to be supervised 100% of the time. Seriously. I have the bedroom door booby trapped so that if he gets up in the night we hear him. He has to be strapped into the booster seat at the table to even stay in one place for a meal (if we go out we put him in a high chair so he can’t roam). He doesn’t sit still long enough to read a story, or watch even two minutes of TV. Even though he is potty trained, and can even clean himself (wipe & wash his hands), and dump his potty, he can’t go alone because he will get into the cabinet and make a mess, or will put things that don’t belong in the toilet (and flush!). He is on the go constantly, and 80% of the time, he is into something that he shouldn’t be, even though, he knows he will get in trouble (he will look right at us as we are telling him “No” and do it anyway). Time outs are sitting on someone’s lap being held because he won’t sit still in the time out chair. Am I complaining? Maybe a little. It’s exhausting some days because I have to watch him no matter what else I need to be doing(and yes, this includes going to the bathroom, showering, cooking a meal, or other household chore even just taking a little break). Am I sorry that he is my son? NO WAY!! Would I do it again, even knowing what I know? 100 times!!

When I look at Timothy and think of what his fate would have been, I can’t help but love him even more. Because of his “energy level” (hehe), he would no doubt have been tethered to chairs, his bed, maybe a crib once he was transferred to the institution. Something like that would have surely broken his little spirit. He would have resorted to stimming to stay aware/awake. Maybe banging his head, or rocking, or picking at himself. When I think of what “coulda” been…

The truth is, what could have been for Timothy, IS for so many… there are so many little ones who have no idea what waits for them on the other side of the car ride that they excitedly go on. They are moved from the only “home” that they know, where they are taken care of, and loved, and fed. Moved to a place that is scary, and cold, and where they are just one of the group of other boys/men or girls/women who have no other alternative. They are castoffs. Unwanted. Unteachable. Unloved. They have no place in society in their country. They will die in this place.

There are ways to help. Sponsor a family. There are so many who are struggling to get the last amounts that they need to travel. There are just as many who are just starting their journey to bring home their children. Donate to the children who are waiting. PRAY. Pray that families come forward for the forgotten children. Pray that they can hang on until their families get to them to bring them home. If you can’t do anything else, PRAY.

4th of July weekend!

2011-07-05T23:05:00.000-05:00

We had a very nice weekend. It was sort of busy, but in a good way.

Sunday was my 42^nd Birthday. Eeep! We went to church, and then out to lunch. The afternoon was quiet. After supper, two of my scrappy friends (Carrie & Lisa) came to scrapbook for a little while, and another friend (Michelle) popped in to visit for a little while (she just moved to our neighborhood so she didn’t scrap this time). It was a nice end to the day.

Monday started EARLY! Of course, I overslept. LOL Sorry LouAnn! I helped my friend LouAnn set up and sell at her booth at the Craft Sale. We had bunches of yummy goodies and sold all but a few things! YAY!! She made almost $500 to add to their “Bringing Home Jeremiah” fund. Not a bad haul! WAY better than mine last year. LOL

We also went to the Fire Department’s Pancake Breakfast. Kati participated in the Talent Show, she sang “Traveling Soldier” by the Dixie Chicks with John accompanying her on his guitar. She did a wonderful job! I tried to video tape it but the camera died! Grrrr!!

Later in the day was the parade. John marched in it with the Southeast Iowa Honor Guard (fire fighters). Timothy LOVED the fire trucks and sirens! He kept yelling “Dad” hehe I can’t believe he associaes John with the sirens/trucks already! He’s so stinkin smart! The other kids got lots of candy & were VERY nice with sharing with Timothy (I kept him in the stroller since he is a “runner”).

After the parade, we came in and had supper (brats & hot dogs!) and just hung out for a bit. My BFF Stacey came over and we all headed out around 8 to get our spots for the fireworks. The band that was playing was good too, and the kids had a ball dancing! Hehe I bought some glowsticks and light thingys for the kids to play with while we waited. We had a little snack of popcorn, and then it was time…

The fireworks. Oh my!! West Burlington truly has the very best fireworks display in the county and this year was no different! It was beautiful!! The kids had a great time, and Timothy yelled, and hollered, and clapped, and jumped up and down… he had so much fun!!

This year means so much more when I think of the word “freedom”. I love our country. I love being an American. I love living in my “little” hometown where they know my name at the bank or the pharmacy. I am so happy that now Timothy is free and can enjoy all of those things with his family. He may or may not understand all that that entails, but just having him here, where he has the same opportunities that we have, and he can be what he wants to be, and more importantly, what God wants him to be.

Here are a few snaps from the day:

Our own personal "hero"...Daddy carrying the hachet in the
Honor Guard

Timothy hanging out before the fireworks!!

Ham... I mean, Olivia... waiting for the fireworks too!

Glowsticks & Lightup thingys

Lightup thingys & Glowsticks! hehe

Fireworks! Woohoo!!

Happy 4th of July!!

Babbling, anyone?

2011-06-28T10:44:00.000-05:00

Whew, I’ve turned into one of those bloggy Moms who promised to blog even after they got their child home, and you barely hear from them again! I didn’t mean to, I promise! LOL

Things seem to be on an even kilter right now. Daycare is going well, I have a really nice little group of kiddos, the older ones seem to have fun together (all girls, so they play Barbies or “house” or “school”), and the little ones are all little boys and so darn cute you just can’t be mad at them when they get in the middle of the Barbies or “house” or “school”. Hehe They all seem to get along well, so that’s a plus too. We have a good little “schedule” we play all morning (in or outside), and while the littles take naps, the bigs do a craft or watch a movie, or play board games. Then we play more (usually outside for this time unless it’s raining again!!) till everyone is picked up. The afternoon is also our “water” time, sprinkler, wading pools, etc. We also go to the library, and the movies, and the park. The weather has been so crazy though that outings have been minimal thus far.

We had a van issue last week, but thank God it was under warrantee, and our mechanic is awesome, so it was done in one afternoon. He even did the oil change while he had it since we were getting close to needing to have that done too.

I’ve found my new dishwasher. I can’t wait to get it (saving my pennies and should be able to get it next week!)!! It’s hard keeping up with the dishes with it being summer and having a full house with the daycare kids without my dishwasher (I have to sanitize things by hand without it so it adds an extra step to the process). It’s the same one we had before (newer model of course).

Timothy started his summer speech therapy sessions. He goes twice a week for 30 minutes. The therapist says that he is up to about 70% with his recognition(she says show me the apple and he points to the correct picture), and his repetition is about 25%, she understands about that much of what he says, and repeats after her. I work on him repeating after me too, cup, drink, eat, etc. He knows all of the signs for those things, so we say & sign most everything. He is good at asking for help, saying thank you, please, etc. with signs too. July 6^th is his big “developmental” appointment. He’ll see the psychologist, and speech therapist, etc. I’m anxious to see what they all have to say. He has changed so much…

I think his bottom front teeth are loose. I told everyone to watch him so hopefully we can catch it before he swallows them. LOL We go to the dentist again in July, so we’ll see what he has to say.

I started this post on Sunday and haven’t had a chance to get it up.

We’re gearing up for our 4^th of July festivities. I love the West Burlington celebration. Living in a small town is so great because there are things happening all day long, either downtown, or at people’s houses. There’s a craft show/sale, there’s a little street fair/games, bike races, a dunk booth that usually has one of our police officers, or fire fighters, or even city “officials” for people to aim at and dunk. All in fun of course. There’s a talent show and karaoke. There is a community worship service. A big BINGO game. A raffle, a pancake breakfast at the fire station, a parade, and of course, it all wraps up with fireworks (the best display in the county!). The block off most of downtown and the streets are lined with concessions, games, and fun stuff! If you get bored or go hungry, it’s your own fault! I love the 4^th of July. I can’t wait to take Timothy to all of the festivities this year. I had a craft booth last year, and had his pic on a poster for people to see, it will be fun to have HIM to show off this year.

It is bittersweet though, the memories of my childhood 4^th of Julys are haunting me this year. 4^th of July was one of Dad’s favorite holidays. My Birthday is the 3^rd, so we just partied for days! Cookouts, wiener roasts, pool parties, you name it, we did it over the course of a few days during this time of the year. We always had sparklers to burn. We always had watermelon, and homemade ice cream. No matter what we were doing, you could always count on there being plenty of food, lots of friends, and most of the family around.

John & I have made our community celebration our own family tradition because the old ones have faded away. Many of the friends are long gone now, either lost through the years by the miles that separate us, or they have passed way. No sparklers to burn, I’m too afraid that someone will get hurt. My Birthday usually passes without much excitement these days (I’m too old for a “party”! LOL). Dad is gone. And, well, the family isn’t really a family anymore.

Mom will spend most of the day with us, the pancake breakfast, watching the parade, and the fireworks. We’ll cook out at some point, with some of our friends. We’ll make it and it will be a nice day. But for me, there will still be something missing…

Ugh! I’ve read and re-read this post a dozen times, should I hit publish? Should I not? If you are reading it, you know. LOL I’ll take lots of pics of the kiddos and post them, I’m excited about making them some memories.

Father's Day 2011

2011-06-19T22:53:00.000-05:00

I don’t have any cutsie pics of John and the kids to post for today (sorry!!).

We had a busy but really NICE day today. We started out with church. Then we took my Mom and went out to lunch. We came home and the littles took naps (ok, I snoozed a teeny bit too). For supper, our friend, and fellow adopting Mama ,LouAnn and her kiddos came over for supper.

Today was John’s first Father’s Day without his Dad. It was also his first as a Father of FOUR! This is the man that said “Two kids might be ok”. Hehe

John’s Mom is doing better. They think she might even get to go home in a few days. It’s amazing how quickly she’s turned around since they figured out what the problem was. So thankful!!

Today has been a little tough for me. I miss my Dad. I texted my Brother to say “Happy Father’s Day, Love you & I miss you”. No response though… I miss my Brother. He usually responds when I wish him a “Happy whatever” on holidays… guess I pushed my luck tellin him I miss him. Sigh…

A few rambling updates...

2011-06-15T22:35:00.000-05:00

I had a long post all typed out about the junk going on around here, and the more I read, the more depressed I got, so I decided to start all over. Lucky you! Hehe

It’s summer break so it’s been pretty busy around here. I can officially say that I have a FULL DAYCARE for the first time in nearly 8 months. Praise the Lord!!! It has been very hard, I won’t lie. Money has been very very tight (to the point of my friend sending us about a week’s worth of groceries one week, and my Mom cleaning out her freezer too (although, she needed to do that and was happy to make the room hehe))since we got home with Timothy. I know that we needed this time to bond with him, and him with us, and for us to find a new “normal”, and God carried us through the hard part, but it was NOT fun going through it. We were dangerously close to being foreclosed on. Not a place I want to be!!

John’s Mom has been very ill. She had an artery replaced (I think), and has had a really severe reaction to the anesthesia. She had several days/nights where she didn’t know anyone, and basically was having bouts of dementia… she has become very anemic, and will be having a transfusion soon. John hasn’t updated me today so there isn’t anything new to tell.

We are also dealing with some serious issues with our oldest son, Joe. He will be 16 next month but he is mentally about 9 or 10. He did something that really carries serious consequences if the others involved choose to pursue it. I will make a few follow up calls in the morning to make sure things are ok as they are. Please pray that we (his parents) are allowed to continue with the plan we have and that there are no legal ramifications. Sigh…

As Father’s Day gets closer, I have found myself thinking about my Dad a lot. I will not deny that when I was a kid (read teen ager!), I was pretty sure that he was the worst person alive. We did not have a Christian home; Dad was not always the picture perfect role model. Of course, as I got older, and moved out on my own, I realized that he really did teach me a lot. Maybe not directly, but some of the things that he did were things that I knew I did not want to do as a parent. So, while he might not have been the type of Dad to sit down and teach me about the birds and the bees, I learned from his example, the good and the bad. As an adult, I think I found new respect for him once I wasn’t living at home, with the rules of my parents. I realized that maybe he really did know what he was doing when he grounded me for a bad grade, or not following the rules. It wasn’t until the last ten years, after we moved back to Iowa, that we really had a good relationship. I didn’t have to talk to just Mom when I needed advice or wanted to share things (of course there were still a few things that only Mom could help with, we have always been very close). I knew that he wouldn’t judge me or only say things he knew I wanted to hear. We had many good talks, he was a good listener. He’s been gone almost two years now. I miss him. I know that he would not like what’s happening with my siblings right now. He might have agreed with the circumstances in the beginning, but I know that he wouldn’t agree with what is happening now. And I’m pretty sure he’d see who’s right, and who’s wrong, and I’m equally sure that he would make his opinion known. Olivia still asks about him, and blows him kisses when she goes to bed. If I close my eyes and still quietly, I can still hear him saying “Well, Sis… “ He rarely called me Melissa, I was always “Sis”. I miss our family get togethers... I miss my brother and sister...

I have more to update but it’s been a long day… and this is getting long too… if you are still with me, thanks for hanging in!

A Real Family In Iowa: How do you eat an elephant? one spoonful at a time...

2011-06-12T13:17:00.000-05:00

A Real Family In Iowa: How do you eat an elephant? one spoonful at a time...: "Yes, the amount of money we need to raise in the next few months is as big as elephant. We are trying every possible way we can think of to..."

Summer is here!!

2011-06-07T20:13:00.002-05:00

I just spent the last 45 minutes coloring with my two littles. Well, Olivia was coloring, I was coloring, and Timothy was ripping the paper off of the crayons after he broke them. I guess that’s a step up from eating them… LOL Now if we can just work on staying in the lines & not eating the playdough…

Summer is in full swing here… the weather especially! The heat index was around 110 today. I think someone forgot spring; we jumped from cold to HOT!!

There are so many families traveling right now. It is so awesome to read about their trips and experiences. I keep watching for “our” apartment in Kiev when people post their pics. Hehe I have seen two families who have stayed in it so far. I also love seeing all of the site seeing photos that people post. Of course, my favorites are the ones of finally meeting their children.

Speaking of traveling families, the Davis family will be heading HOME to Alabama on Thursday!! Who are the Davis’? Ohhhhh they are Tesney & Greg & KIRILL!!! Yep, Kirill is FINALLY heading home!! He will finally get to meet his brother Clayton and all of the rest of the family who has been waiting and praying for him for so long.

I am so blessed to be able to report that my daycare is FULL. God blessed me with two new families on Sunday!! They started on Monday, and so far so good!! Thank you Lord!! It will be nice to not have to worry about how to pay for groceries, gas, medicines, etc

I have so many other things floating around in my head that I probably should put into words, but I think I’ll leave that for another post…

Timothy in the Sprinkler!

2011-06-03T23:16:00.001-05:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Craziness!! :)

2011-06-02T10:51:00.001-05:00

It’s been so busy around here, good busy and yucky busy, that I just haven’t had the desire to post. I’m trying to change that, I am. Especially now that the kids are out of school. I’m now officially the Mom of a Junior in HS, an Eighth grader, a Kindergartener, and a Preschooler (for now T is going to go back to Preschool to start off the school year, we’ll see after that though).

I have been reading many family blogs since we started our adoption process. So many other RR adoptive Moms have become my friends through our process, and theirs. Some of the ones who have come home have been posts about the sunny things, the accomplishments, the new things that their children are doing now that they have new siblings, the things that they do as a family now that they have their child home, and their family is complete. Most though decide at some point to be “real”. They share their troubles, and their frustrations, and the tough things that are happening.

This is going to be one of those “real” posts. Don’t worry though; there will be some photo cuteness at the end for your viewing pleasure.

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you will know that things didn’t go according to plan while I was gone. There was a HUGE misunderstanding with my Mom (and subsequently my siblings), most of my daycare families left, and life since being home has NOT been all sunshine and roses (not that it ever was! Hehe). Life with a non-verbal ball of energy with Down syndrome is challenging some days! Looking back of course, I can see where we have grown, and I can see where God has been, and honestly, many days, it is only His footprints you will see because He was carrying me. If not for that, I would surely have drowned long ago.

I would be lying if I tried to tell you that the stuff with my family hasn’t bothered me. I have never really blogged about it to protect their opinions/privacy, and because frankly, I was afraid of hurting their feelings more than they already had been. Not that they have done that for me, I just chose to be the bigger person. But, at this point, maybe getting it all out there will help me get past it and move on because it has surely been a distraction in my life (you know like the elephant in the room!) I have been declared “dead” by my brother’s wife (because I thanked her for butting into something that wasn’t hers to butt into while we were in Ukraine), thus she wouldn’t read my emails, won’t speak to us, completely staring through me on the couple of occasions she has seen me in public, and I am sure giving her friends and family an earful about what a horrible person I am. Her son (my brother’s son too!) is not allowed around “those people” anymore either. Of course, I can see her side of it, she is as innocent as they come and has never done anything to hurt any of the family(insert appropriate sarcastic tone here), like breaking my brother’s heart, or not calling or visiting while our Dad was in the hospital just a few minutes from where she works, even after we knew he was not going to make it (no support offered for my Mom or any of the rest of us while we were dealing with that), and I won’t even mention the fact that she left the state(taking her son but NOT her husband who couldn’t go because of his work schedule) on our family’s first holiday without Dad (he had only been gone 2 months). My own sister has chosen her “side” instead of defending me or even talking to me about the whole issue (that whole blood is thicker than water theory has holes in it for sure!), even through the holiday season. Then there is the fact that she didn’t come to any of our events or fundraisers for Timothy, and acted like we were bringing the plague into the family when we first mentioned adopting him and hasn’t really spoken to us since, so I’m not sure what her real issue is. Oh, and I also won’t mention the personal issues that she herself has drug the family into and out of(really, I won’t mention those, they aren’t that important in detail, just know that we have supported her through some very irresponsible decisions that she has made over the course of the last 10 years or so, no questions asked, because that’s what family does even if we initially didn’t support said decisions). Am I innocent? HA! Nope!! Are there life decisions that I wasn't smart about? Ohhhh yeah!! Were there things that I should have done differently in this situation? Yes! I have never denied that, I’ve never been given the chance to answer their questions or “defend” myself because they have decided that excommunicating us from “their family” is easier apparently.

Of course, in all of this, there are children involved. I have never spoken ill of any of them in front of my kids, it’s not really important for them to worry about the details, they just know that the reason that we haven’t had any family gatherings with everyone together is because Aunt A & Uncle T are mad at me so they don’t want us around them. It was hard at the holidays, but in everyday life we aren’t really around them much anyway so it isn’t as tough. Of course, I don’t know what they have told their kids when they ask where we are, or why they haven’t gotten to meet their new cousin, I’m sure I can imagine it isn’t nice. It makes me sad that the kids can’t interact with their cousins, and I miss my nieces and nephew, and yes, my sister and my brother.

I’m not sure where I really wanted to go with any of that other than to just get it off of my chest. My relationship with my Mom, though very broken and strained in the beginning(when we first got home), is repaired, and we are fine, I think we’ve settled into our new “normal”. The things that happened still come up, and we deal with them, and move on, THAT is what family is supposed to do. I love my family, and I wish things were different, but I can’t change things because it’s not mine to change.

I have been hurt in all of this craziness too. They accuse me of abandoning my Mom, and kids, and leaving too much responsibility on her while we were gone, things that were completely beyond my control that I could not have forseen, I can’t see into the future (too bad I can’t we could be rich!). I didn’t plan for my home to be infested with fleas within the first week (causing LOTS of extra stress for everyone because of the preparation for treatment, cleaning, etc). I had NO idea that the people I had lined up for backup would pull out at the last minute (literally) leaving everything on Mom (& John when he got home). I had NO idea that there had been a miscommunication in John’s return date (until it was already upon us!). Things began to fall apart here due to all of those major things, attitudes were very high, as was the stress, and that translated to big trouble. I certainly did NOT know that things would be so bad for my daycare families, the plan that I had set seemed to be pretty concrete before I left. It wasn’t till I was 6000 miles away that things started to crumble… and for some, there has been no repair. If I could go back and change things, I absolutely would. Of course, I can’t, things happen beyond even my control (I know, hard to believe! Hehe). The best laid plans and all that…

Everything that happened while we were gone has had an effect on life since we have been home. Besides the family issues, essentially losing my job(two of my families stuck it out, THANK YOU!!) has put a HUGE financial strain on us. Things are getting better, God has sent new daycare children my way, I’ve gotten my paperwork in order to renew my registration through the state(I let it go in February to take some time “off” while we re-evaluated things and got some work done on the house), and I’ll be going back to the food program once all of that is in place. So, financially, I pray that the hardest part should be coming to an end (please God!!). Of course, financial issues make day to day life even harder than usual.

I wish I could say that since things are looking up in the financial stuff, life would be a bowl of cherries. I will tell you though; there will be no cherry pies in our near future unless a few other things change. The dishwasher needs repaired (and with daycare kids, I NEED that thing working!!), the new carpet/flooring is put on a temporary hold for a couple of months, the kids are all out of school, so it’s gonna get crazy round here (but that’s the good news)…

Every day God shows me that He is here. He is holding me when I feel like I just can’t keep moving. My children are my motivation, well, that and the fact that I really don’t like the laundry piling up or the dishes… hehe

The other good stuff? Timothy continues to grow (30 lbs at his last appointment on Friday, up 4 lbs since coming home!!), and thrive, and learn, and bond, and just be a wonderful, loving addition to our family. He amazes me on a daily basis! Now if I could just convince him to sit still for a few minutes… hehe All of the other kids successfully completed school this year (both Joe & Kati continue to be on the Honor Roll). All are healthy and adjusting very well to our little ball of energy. We are all learning lots of signs too since Timothy isn’t speaking yet.

We are hoping to make a trip to Chicago to meet a bunch of other RR families this summer. The pool will be open soon, swim lessons, some summer programs at the school, trips to the park, the library, and wherever else we can find are all in the plans too.

Ok… as promised… picture fun!

Joe in his West Burlington Choir robe before
a concert

Timothy & Momma before the same concert

Kati, a different concert! LOL!

Daddy sits in his chair JUST like this with his laptop, and the
blanket over his legs! It was soooo cute when I caught Timothy
sitting there just like Daddy!!

Working hard! hehe

Our little dancer! Olivia in her recital costume
on picture day!

Striking a pose!

Olivia & her BFF!! This was taken at R's Birthday party!
Now they are both 4!!

Olivia accepting her "diploma" from Preschool from Mrs. M.

The grad & Mrs. M

M, Timothy, and Ms. K
(M is Timothy's one on one associate &
Ms. K is the classroom teacher in his class. He will go back to
them next year too!)

Today has been a big day for some...

2011-05-24T10:20:00.000-05:00

In the craziness that is my life, there times that I’m not always praising God with my mouth, or my actions. It’s not that I’m a mean or ugly spirited person, it’s just that sometimes I get caught up in the “why me?” mode of life. Why do we struggle daily with finances? Why are my siblings still not speaking to me after all this time? Why do I feel like I’m the only one who cares about how things look around the house or the yard? Why am I the only one that does anything about it? Why are the kids being so ornery, can’t they see I need to do … ? Well, you get the picture…

God is here, He is in everything that happens to me, my family, my friends… He is the One in control of things here and everywhere.

In Eastern Europe today a family is finally packing up for the last time to come home with their new daughter after many delays that were out of their control.

In the same country, in a small village, a village where there is a big, looming, ugly mental institution that houses the “Lost Boys” there was a court hearing. A hearing to decide if one of the sweet little boys was worthy of a family. A family who loves him, and has fought to bring him home. As my friend Renee says, “Love wins”. He is a “Lost boy” no more, he will come home in a few weeks to a loving family with a Momma and Papa, and brothers and sisters. Judd Denis Hartman is no longer an orphan left to die in a cold horrible institution, unloved and unwanted, forgotten.

In a different EE country, another family went before a panel of Supreme Court judges to plead for the life of the tiny boy that they call their son. Just two months ago a lower court judge said “No”. She was sure that he would be better off in an institution. Children like him didn’t deserve a family, and surely the family didn’t want the burden of a “sick” boy. She didn’t know that besides the love that they have for their little boy, they have determination, they have family and friends all pulling for them… they have God. Today, they have victory. Today the appeal was heard. Today that little boy is Gregory Kirill Davis. Today the prayers of so so so many were heard. Today the campaign to Bring Kirill Home is over.

Today God has moved in a mighty way in so many families in our Reece’s Rainbow community. He has heard our prayers and granted them.

It’s hard for me to see all of these victories and know that all of these good things are happening and still wallow in my pitiful existence. So, for today, no wallowing… only thankfulness for the provisions of God in the lives of these families and children.

Love for Little Lydiah: A Kindle, A Pearl Ring and $100 Visa Gift Card!

2011-05-22T10:36:00.000-05:00

Love for Little Lydiah: A Kindle, A Pearl Ring and $100 Visa Gift Card!: "We are close to bringing Lydiah home! Her stay at the orphanage is drawing to an end! We are hoping and praying that we will get submitted ..."

Saturday

2011-05-22T09:10:00.001-05:00

Ugh… I have an almost 5 y/o that is refusing naps most days and it’s making me crazy! LOL She really does still need them. She gets soooooo cranky by around 6pm on the days that she hasn’t taken one. I was planning to wean her off of naps over the summer anyway, but for now she does still need them.

Day to day life here has been pretty normal. School is almost finished for the summer. I’ve been working on trying to get new daycare kiddos. I think I have my “fill” for the summer almost. That will be nice because it has been SO hard to make ends meet. I was just telling a friend that it would be nice to be able to fundraise to help meet our day to day needs now that we’re home. LOL It’s not that we are destitute, but since losing my daycare kids while I was gone, it has been very difficult. I didn’t even think of that as being something that could happen. I thought I’d come home and all would go back to “normal” with things just adding Timothy to the mix. It’s been hard. I know God will provide, and I do not doubt that, I’m human, I worry.

Today I went over and mowed Mom’s yard. It is such a beautiful day, nice breeze, sun is shining, so working outside was nice. Although, I do need to figure out how to mow without getting the grass in places that it shouldn’t be. Hehe

Later…

Well, laundry is done, house is decluttered (gonna clean a little better tomorrow hehe), baths given, kids in bed. We’ve been DVRing the “Oprah” show, so John and I are watching one of them.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy one. Church, Olivia’s dance photos, her BFF’s 4^th Birthday party… good stuff!

A tidbit of good stuff...

2011-05-15T22:07:00.002-05:00

Timothy had some blood work done a couple of weeks ago. I called our local pediatrician and they couldn’t give me the blood work results because they were sent straight to the docs in Ia City. I have NO idea of all of the actual medical names for everything, and at the moment, I don’t even have the little list of numbers that the nurse relayed to me on the phone. But, I can tell you the good news is that his Thyroid is perfect, he tested negative for Celiac disease, and he is not anemic. LOL All of these things are very good news. Put that with the negative C-spine X-rays (negative for AAI, which was also confirmed by the Ia City doc), and we can say that we have a pretty healthy little dude! YAY!! We go back to Ia City on July 6 for a full day of testing, developmental, behavior, etc. so we’ll learn more about that side of things then.

There’s not too much else happening around here. The school year is winding down. I will be sending in the paperwork to re-register through the state for my daycare in the morning. I hope that will help with the money stuff. Things have been very very tight financially for a little while. It’s hard.

There are so many families who are working so hard to bring home their kids. It’s hard to not be able to help especially when so many people helped us so much when we were working to bring Timothy home. I pray every day for the families in the process right now. I know that that is a big deal too, but I wish I could do more.

Who really cares?

2011-05-11T15:25:00.001-05:00

Today is one of those days that I wonder if I am the only one in our house who cares about things being clean, cooked, put away, picked up… The members of my family tend to only see what they want to see. The don't see the laundry that needs to be done (I'm not the only one who knows how to run the washer & dryer). They don't see the trash that needs to be taken out (the trash cans have been in the same spot next to the garage for the 10 years that we've lived here). They don't notice the dishes stacked in the sink (the dishwasher works, I promise! Ohhh, loading it would mean you first have to UNload it). They don't notice the dust, or the bits of stuff on the carpet that needs to be vacuumed up, or the mess in the bathroom... I know that at least three of my four children live out of their clean laundry baskets because they don't bother to put away their clothes each week after I have folded it neatly and stacked it in them.

My sweet friend Renee posted a story yesterday on her blog that really feels like it was written about me. Of course, it probably feels that way to most Moms on any given day. I didn’t ask for her permission to swipe it from her blog, but I don’t think she will mind…

"The Invisible Mother"

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, “Can't you see I'm on the phone?”

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, “What time is it?” I'm a satellite guide to answer, “What number is the Disney Channel" ( forget what I want to watch now :( ) I'm a car to order, “Right around 5:30, please.”

Some days I'm a crystal ball; “Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?”

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others, all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, “I brought you this.” It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: “With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.”

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
1.) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
2.) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
3.) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
4..) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, “Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it.” And the workman replied, “Because God sees.”

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, “I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.”

No act of kindness you've done, no button you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no hockey/soccer/piano/Scout/school meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, “My Mom gets up at four in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.” That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, “You're gonna love it there!”

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers. (Author Unknown)

Sometimes though... I just wish they would notice that I would like a little help...

"Taylah Tuesday!!"

2011-05-10T22:16:00.000-05:00

EEEEEK!!! There is only ONE HOUR left to buy DOTS to uncover sweet little Taylah(Elisha)'s face!! Quick, go HERE and buy some DOTS!!!

Happy Mother's Day!!

2011-05-08T23:04:00.000-05:00

I know SO many Mothers! I know Mothers, and expectant Mothers, and Mothers of adult children, and Mothers of young ones. Mothers of teen agers. Mothers who have birthed their children. Mothers who have adopted their children. It really doesn’t matter how God made them Mothers, they are all blessed to be called Mother, Mom, Momma, Mommy… And they are all women who have impacted my life in some wonderful, special way. Thank you for showing me how to be the Mother that I have become.

I would love to be able to say that my siblings and I celebrated Mother’s Day all together with our Mom, but I can’t. Thankfully though, after a very difficult issue on Easter Sunday (and neither of them talking to her since then), at least my brother and sister did visit Mom for Mother’s day.

Today started with breakfast “in bed”. Kati made pancakes, and set a nice tray for me which included a little vase with some fresh lilacs (my FAVES!!). Well, as soon as the tray was set on the bed, the vase knocked over, so I was actually awakened by some nice cold water spilled all over me! LOL I couldn’t even go back to sleep because it was all over the bed (and me!). Yaaawn!! LOL It’s the thought that counts, so how could I be upset?!

We got ready for church and picked up my Mom. Today was also the day that was chosen to dedicate Timothy. After church, we went to lunch. When we got home, the littles took naps (oh yeah, and so did I hehe). Kati wanted to cook dinner, so I let her! She did a great job, we had spaghetti, garlic bread, and for dessert, she even made brownies.

Mother’s day or not, I still had to do some “housework” because if I don’t keep it up, it’s just more for me to do tomorrow. So, I scrubbed the kitchen floor, cleaned the counters, vacuumed, etc. I drew the line at laundry though; it will still be there tomorrow (or till I get to it). LOL

Today has been a nice day. I’m so blessed to be a Mother, God has blessed me with four beautiful, talented, and loving children.

Atlantoaxial Instability??

2011-05-06T19:01:00.000-05:00

Before meeting Timothy, I will be honest, I had NO IDEA what AAI was, or that we might bave to learn about it, or deal with it.

We are finally getting all of Timothy’s testing done for his appointments in Ia City in July. Labwork, c-spine (x-rays), etc.

About.com’s definition for Atlantoaxial Instability (AAI) is : Atlantoaxial instability is a condition affecting the neck bones of about 15% of people with Down syndrome. Because of their somewhat stretchier ligaments, the two bones at the top of the neck (called C1 and C2) maybe prone to excessive movement. Often this condition causes no problems, but if it affects the underlying nerves, there can be neurological problems (rare).

I called this morning to find out if they could at least tell me the c-spine results. The nurse called back to let me know that there was “no indication of Atlantoaxial Instability”. YAY!! Whew!! As active as he is, I was so worried we’d break him! I’ll have to call Ia City for the labwork results. I’m betting though that they are going to tell me he has Down syndrome. Hehe

Olivia has a little friend sleeping over tonight. They are so cute. We all played outside earlier and Kati took them to the park(1/2 block from our house). They are getting a bath right now, and then they’ll be having “make overs”. I think Kati likes playing dress up with them as much as they do!! Of course, Timothy acts like he’s been beaten because I won’t let him take a bath with the girls. Poor lil guy, just can’t catch a break. Hehe He’s all nekkid and waiting for his turn! LOL After baths are all done, we’ll pop some popcorn and watch Veggietales “Jonah”(by Olivia’s request). Hopefully after that our little divas will be ready for bed. I’ll keep ya posted…

Ya know… as I sit here listening to the girls play in the tub (Kati’s in the bathroom with them), and watch Timothy run around in his birthday suit, it makes me think of how different his little life is. I know he wouldn’t be doing ANY of the things that we do as a family (or the birthday suit thing either for that matter!) if he was still in an orphanage. Oh, they had a “nice” play yard, and equipment, and plenty of food, and clothing, etc. You know the basics. But, going to the park, being allowed to run around freely and play, playing in the bath, yelling at his sisters to “go”(I think he wants them to hurry up so it can be his turn)…

Our life is not that which magazine articles are written, or TV movies are made of, but I am pretty sure I can say that we are very blessed. We have a home, and a backyard, and a nice community. We have wonderful friends, who are there for us through good and bad. We have four beautiful children who are healthy, relatively well adjusted (hehe), and happy. God is good.

He luhs me!!

2011-05-05T14:51:00.000-05:00

I can’t believe I forgot one of the most important little pieces of news to share!

We have been working with Timothy to teach him signs for the more common things; we are still praying that we can eventually teach him to actually talk. Anyway, he has the signs down for a lot of things, if I had to count, I would guess he has about 35-30 signs that he uses appropriately. One of them is the phrase “I love you”.

When we tell him that we love him, he always signs it back and also speaks “Luh”(love) as he signs. The past two days, without prompting, or without my saying it first, he will pucker up his lips for a kiss, and after I give him a kiss, he will say “Luh”!! HE’S TELLING ME HE LOVES ME!!!! All on his own!! Melts my heart everytime!

Didja miss me?!

2011-05-05T10:45:00.001-05:00

No special blogger awards for me for this last few weeks! I'm a Baaaaad Blogger!!

I am so sorry for not keeping things flowing here! Gotta get back to making blogging a priority! I know that you all sit and wonder where I am, and what we are doing, and how things are going. I know you do… HA! Yeah, right… hehe

That’s ok though, it’s really not going to stop me from babbling at will when I get a moment or two. J

Our days have been filled with fun things for the little ones, we’ll be making Mom’s day presents tomorrow! I have a couple of newbies coming for child care, one of them is having a rough transition, but he’ll be ok, each day gets better.

My own kids are getting excited about the end of the school year, would it be really terrible of me to admit I’m NOT!? Oh, don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind my kids being around 24/7, but THEY don’t like it, within the first week they will be bored and trying to kill me, or each other, trust me, I know this. There are plenty of things to keep them busy… well, if you have kids, especially teens or preschoolers, you know how that sentence ends. Anyway, if you don’t hear from me after June 1^st, you will know why…

For those of you in the south, I know you will be very jealous to know that my whole house smells like lilacs! Our lilacs are in full bloom right now, finally! They only last a little while though, so we have to enjoy them while we can.

I finally took the time to get the pics off the computer from the camera. There are some from Easter, our window installation, and even a shot of the lilacs!

Guess you wanna see, eh? J

Easter goodies!! Olivia's, Timothy's, & Kati's baskets. Joe's
is the little bucket since he is "old" now.

Timothy & Olivia checking out the goodies!

Livi in her Easter Dress. Her necklace was a special
gift two years ago for Christmas from her Nonnie &
Pop-pop (the first Christmas after my Dad had passed away)

Timothy in his Easter duds! He has both legs,
he's just hiding the right one!

Hunting eggs in the backyard after church!

Olivia found bunches too!!

Before the new windows

During!

The old window in the Breakfast nook. They wouldn't open,
and there were no screens

The new window in the Breakfast nook, full screen so we can open
either side!

ALL done!!

Can't you just smell the lilacs!? Ahhhhh LOVE them!!

Love my "ilacs" as Olivia calls them. hehe

Friday... then Saturday!

2011-04-30T19:13:00.000-05:00

I started this yesterday and got sidetracked, but instead of changing it, I just thought I’d add to it and post it anyway.

As I sit here typing this, there are men all around our house finally installing our new windows! YAY!! I know, it’s the “little” things that make me happy. J

I’ve been a little lazy about updating, mostly because I haven’t really been in the mood to write this week. Easter was a rough day due to the family issues that we’ve been having.

It was a nice day in every other way though. We enjoyed great fellowship and breakfast with our church family, and a wonderful time of worship afterward. After church, we came home and the little ones napped. We had our Easter egg hunt after naptime was over (the Easter bunny left the eggs for us to hide because he knew we would have to wait till after church hehe). I made homemade lasagna for dinner, and it was a big hit! Mom was here for a few hours in the afternoon/evening & for supper. It was a nice day all in all other than the grey cloud hanging over us due to the events of earlier in the day and the continued attitudes of my siblings (and their families).

Wednesday brought us a trip to Iowa City for the boy’s appointments. Joe’s was a med checkup. We decided to leave him where he is for now (we just upped his one med 2 weeks ago). We’ll see how he does in the next 4-6 weeks and go from there. By then he’ll be out of school so we’ll have time to mess around with dosages, etc. before school starts again. Timothy’s appointment was a follow up for his eyes. The doctor was thoroughly thrilled with his progress. His glasses seem to be doing just what they are supposed to with making his left (weak) eye work and strengthen. No patches!! YAY!!! We have to go back in 5-6 weeks. J

I sent in my Registration for my daycare again. I’ll be back to being state registered and can reregister for the food program again too. It has been really hard financially to be “off” for the last 6 months, but I think it has been a good thing for Timothy and the family to have this time for him to settle in. I’m ready to have more kids again though!

Today was a day of housework, grocery shopping, and laundry. Yippee!! lol

I have bunches of pics to post, but I think I’ll do that tomorrow as I need to get the littles bathed and ready for bed.

I do want to send you to another blog before I go though. It's my friend Louann's. Her and her family are adopting Jeremiah (Jeremy 31 on RR) through Reece's Rainbow. Go visit her HERE and learn more about her family, and maybe even participate in some of the FUN giveaways and fundraising events that she'll be doing to help bring Jeremiah home! :)

"Taylah Tuesday!!"

2011-04-26T08:30:00.003-05:00

Ok… just to clear up a little thing that could be confusing… “Taylah” is the name that Reece’s Rainbow gave to our girl to protect her privacy. The White’s have decided to change her name to Elisha! Such a sweet name for such a little cutie!! So, while we’ll still be calling it “Taylah Tuesday”, if you see her name Elisha, you won’t be too confused. It’s the same little girl!

With that I’ll tell you about the White’s newest fundraiser… I haven’t seen this one anywhere, and it’s SO COOL!!!

They have a new picture of Elisha!! But, we can’t see it yet!! They are holding it hostage. Hehe Here’s how it works… For every $5 dot you purchase, a circle disappears and a little bit of the picture is revealed. Check back often, because as more DOTS disappear, you'll get to see more of our little princess!

Here is the direct link for the photo page so you can watch the dots disappear as donations roll in : ELISHA

TAYLAH TUESDAY!!!

2011-04-19T10:32:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago I posted about a Momma who has helped SO many of our Reece's Rainbow families find their children. Sarah has loved, prayed for, and shed tears for so many of the sweeties listed on Reece's Rainbow. She has helped raise grant funds, and even went so far as to "raffle" off her engagment ring to help a certain little boy whom she fell in love with. That little boy will be coming home with his very own "Forever Family" to Texas in just a few short days!! Sarah has waited patiently for God to stir her husband's heart though, and finally it happened! Now they are working HARD to bring home their sweet little Taylah!! But they need HELP!

Today is our FIRST “Taylah Tuesday”!!!

Meet sweet little Taylah…

The girl is active, affectionate, easily bonding to adults. She can exhibit inadequately aggressive reactions to some stimuli. She is not picky at table. She eats well, but not very tidily. She falls asleep slowly and easily gets up in the morning. Her hearing is good, her vision concentration is a bit lower (weak convergence, nistagmus). The attention span is poor. She does not like to look through books or pictures. Her motor skills: she walks, sits, walks over barriers, goes up and down the stairs, but her movements are not very well coordinated. She can build a tower of 3 cubes, collect a pyramid out of rings not observing the sequence of sizes. She does not scribble. She does not know even the concepts of color, shape and size. She performs tasks learning from her mistakes. She understands what is said to her. She knows her name and turns to it. She knows the names of familiar adults. She reacts to different speech tones. She repeats syllables, does not repeat words.

Meet the White Family…

Sarah has always had a heart for adoption, and prior to getting into a committed relationship with Todd, she told him she could only marry him if he would someday be willing to bring a child home through adoption. He agreed that he could love a child through adoption just as easily as a bio child. Now, after eight years of marriage and with three little boys to keep them busy, Sarah came across Reece's Rainbow and realized in her heart that the time to adopt was upon them. Todd had reservations at first; after all, they are a busy household already, why would they want to create more work for themselves? But he realized Sarah's request was upon him, and decided he still felt he could love an adopted child just as much as he loves his three little boys. After much prayer and consideration, the couple agreed that they would follow God's lead and journey wherever he takes them. The family is blessed with open, compassionate hearts, so whenever fears of the unknown come along, they remind themselves that God is leading this journey to care for the orphans just as He commands. The boys are excited about the prospect of finally having a sister! Sarah is a special education teacher turned stay-at-home mom, and Todd works hard as a school administrator. The family is blessed with a large extended family, so their new daughter will be not only gaining new parents and siblings, but lots of grandparents, aunts, and uncles as well. It is a journey that started in the heart long ago, and they are thrilled to finally be moving along the road to bringing their little one home!

I will be setting up a new ChipIn here soon to continue our give away, but you can also check out all of the AWESOME goodies that Sarah is offering at their blog:

http://alongtheroadadoption.blogspot.com

Or through their Reece's Rainbow Family Sponsorship Page(donations made here are tax deductable):

http://reecesrainbow.org/sponsorwhite-2

They are working hard to pay the agency fees, and the commitment fees to get things moving again after a setback. This has been a difficult setback, but God is in control, and with His help, and any help that anyone else can give, they are back on track! The country that Taylah is in is one of the more expensive ones to adopt from so they are in need of about $45,000.

Please help. Pray for the White family. Pray that the fundraisers they are doing right now bring in the funds that they need for the upfront expenses and that they can sell their vehicle soon so that they can use that money for their adoption. Pray that their family's hearts will be open and understanding. Pray about donating to this awesome family.

Six Months!!

2011-04-18T16:43:00.000-05:00

So Saturday I posted that it has been five months since “Gotcha Day”. Today, it’s been six months since we actually met timothy for the first time, in that little office at the orphanage with several other people watching. You can read about that day HERE

I remember it so vividly. He was so timid and small. He wasn’t all that shy once he saw that I had cookies. He is quite the eater! Hehe

When I look at him now, and think of that little boy that we met that first day, I barely see the similarities. The little boy that is living here is stubborn, and smart, and sneaky (when he is trying to hide something from one of his siblings especially hehe), and affectionate, and outgoing, and loving, and ornery, and much louder I think. LOL He knows who we are, and has learned the rules, even if sometimes he chooses not to obey them (he’s five after all!). He goes to school, and church. He doesn’t take off his glasses and hide them three or four times a day anymore, we’re down to a couple of times a week now. He laughs, and smiles, and picks on his younger sister.

Is it all sunshine and rainbows? NOPE!! Have we decided that we made a mistake bringing him home? NOPE!! There are days when I want to hang him on a hook just so I know he will stay out of trouble for a few minutes. There are days when he wakes up at 5am that I would LOVE to give him a dose of Benadryl so he’d go back to bed so I could sleep in a bit longer. The boy is raw energy. He literally hits the ground running and I am SO NOT a morning person! LOL

Ya know what though? I love him even more than that first day in that little office. Not a day goes by that one or another of my kids amaze me. God has blessed me more than I ever would have imagined. If anyone had told me when I was younger where my life would lead me, I am sure I would have laughed hysterically.

I am one blessed Mom.

Five Months...

2011-04-16T23:39:00.000-05:00

Five months ago today I walked out of a big brick building, and a big steel grey gate holding a little blonde boy’s hand. He had NO idea what was happening. I knew that his life was about to change in a big way!!

Today, at the same big brick building, and the same big steel gate closed with another little boy, and his Daddy on the outside of it. Today Vlad Burick is free. Free to be a little boy. Free to run, and play, and love, and be loved by his Momma, Daddy, and younger brother(soon to be two younger brothers!), and grandparents, and aunts, uncles, cousins...

I wish I could just make people understand how it feels to be the one walking out those gates, holding that child’s hand. I wish I could convince people who don’t understand the deep connection that I have felt ever since that first moment that I saw my little boy’s face.

I’ve spent the last few days thinking about the other parents who are in the midst of their journeys to bring home their child or children. So many of them are finding that they have no support in their extended families, and friends.

That made me think of my own family. I haven’t really posted much about my family, or the dysfunction that is now my family because I didn’t want to make things “worse”. Not sure how much worse things could be since they already aren’t speaking to me, and completely ignore me(or shoot me a dirty look and then ignore me) in public.

When we started our journey I didn’t really feel the need to ask my extended family for permission to bring Timothy home. I talked to my Mom about it, shared my excitement and my fears. She was so supportive, and shared our excitement. When we told my siblings, one was very supportive, the other not so much. I really don’t have any idea why the one didn’t support us. When I think back through the process though, there was never really any interest(other than disgust that we were bringing him from another country when there are lots of children here in “our own country” that need families). Never an offer of help, they didn’t attend any of our events or fundraisers, even for moral support (I can understand not having the money to donate, but being there would have been nice, just knowing that they were there for us…but I digress). My other sibling was there when they could be, they came to our rummage sale, and came to another big event we had. They asked about our progress, and how close we were getting, etc.

The day before we left for our trip to Ukraine, October 10^th, we all gathered at the cemetery to bury our Dad’s ashes. We had a short committal ceremony, and everyone wished us well as we would be leaving the next day to fly to Ukraine to bring Timothy home. That was the last time my siblings really spoke to me.

Anyone who has been through the process of international adoption knows that the timeline is never really set in stone. You go where they tell you, and your appointments are set, and you just show up. The facilitators work hard to keep things moving smoothly, from the paperwork to court. As exciting as it is, it is also very mundane, it is stressful, and sometimes lonely. Being so far away from home, other kids, family… it takes it’s toll on a person.

I’ve mentioned that things happened at home while we were gone, and really the details aren’t all that important to this post. What is important is that it was something that happened between me (and John) and my Mom. Something that I did NOT plan, something that happened due to a lack of communication on our part. Something that I didn’t even realize was happening until it was too late and the damage had been done, on many levels.

Knowing how upset my Mom was here, and knowing that there was nothing I could do to fix things was one of the worst things I’ve ever had to experience. Knowing that she was angry/hurt/upset at me was a horrible feeling. I have always been very close to my Mom even when we didn’t live in the same state.

When we finally got home, none of my family was at the airport to meet us. None of them called to find out that we’d made it home safely. After all of the travelling, we went to a local store before we went home so that we could get some fruit and yogurt for Timothy (he was still pretty picky about what he ate), and actually saw one of my siblings… dirty look, ignored, and most likely the person that they were talking to got an earful about how horribly I treated my Mom and everyone else by leaving to go get Timothy. When I called my Mom to tell her that we were home, she was distant, and said that “feelings will take time to heal”. She explained later what that meant. I was heartbroken. I was exhausted.

That was in November. My Mom and I have since had many talks about things. About the things I should have done differently, the things that might have helped the whole mess be avoided. We have forgiven, and I have accepted the responsibility that I had in the things that happened.

The process changes a person. You see things, and hear things, and feel things that no one can understand unless they have experienced them. It’s hard to not talk about it, but I try not to because I don’t want to bring back any of the hurt feelings that were here when I got home.

After talking things out with my Mom though, we both agree that the issue was between us, her and I (and John). Granted, my siblings feelings about what happened are valid, but at the same time, not really. They have done things in the past few years that have hurt the family. Things that should have crushed the relationships. Things that have never really been talked about, or questioned. Things that were “forgiven” just because that is what family does. My brother was heartbroken, like I’ve never seen him, but he chose to forgive the person that hurt him, so no questions asked, the situation was forgotten.

They feel that they are justified in holding the grudge that they hold because I shouldn’t have hurt and taken advantage of my Mom. Mom has forgiven me. It shouldn’t be an issue with them anymore if that is what Mom has chosen to do. I don’t feel like I owe anyone else any apologies (I did apologise to my SIL early on because I got snippy with her (via email) about something) beyond what I have offered. I emailed when we got home, and no one replied. Their silence said it all, and still does. I’m sure it doesn’t matter that *I* am hurt, and angry, and upset by the way they handled things too.

The holidays came and went. Timothy doesn’t know who was missing because he has never met them. The other kids noticed. I noticed. I still notice. Tomorrow is Mom’s birthday. She had plans with everyone else today, she’ll come over for supper with us tomorrow. Easter is next week… same thing… celebrate with “everyone else” and then come here to spend a little time with us. It should not be “us” and “them”.

I pray for my family, for their hearts. I pray for my friends families. That they will understand and accept the kids that God has blessed them with. I pray that they will travel and not have to worry about who will meet them at the airport when they get home. I pray that God will speak to the hearts of the ones who don’t understand, or choose not to accept the gift that we’ve been given.

I thank God for the blessings that He has given me. I thank Him for the people that He has put in our lives who love us and our kids. And, this Palm Sunday (which will be here in 30 minutes), I thank God again for His Son, and for His love, and for His forgiveness. Forgiveness that is beyond what we deserve, but not beyond what He provides.

2011-04-12T22:30:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the big day!!

We got up before the chickens like we always do (Timothy hasn’t gotten the memo about sleeping past 5am). We had breakfast. We brushed teeth. We got dressed.

Olivia’s school van came. Timothy was a little befuddled when I actually let him go outside when she was leaving. Oh wait, *I* get to get in the van with La-La? He was SO excited!!

As soon as I had them on the van, I drove to the school so I could be there when he got to his classroom. I didn’t even think to clear this with the teacher, although, I am sure she totally expected me. Hehe When he came down the hall, you could tell by the look on his face that he was completely confused. LOL I’d been telling him all weekend that he was going to school with La-La. And telling him that he was going to have so much fun, and learn so much. As soon as he came in the classroom, he spotted the table with play dough just begging to be squished! He was totally excited and happy, and really didn’t care when I told him I was leaving! LOL I’m not kidding, give the kid play dough and you have a friend forever! Hehe

I watched the clock all morning. I was just waiting till it was time for them to come home. When they did, he was SO happy!! If he could have told me, I’m sure he would have been chattering a million miles a minute. He was even more excited to go this morning!

His teacher called me to give me a little report on how his morning went. She said that he did fine, and she was so sure that he was going to really learn a lot, and it was a great fit for him. YAY!! I saw one of the associates tonight at Walmart and she gushed about how well he did and how blessed we are to have such a sweetie. I’m so excited for Timothy, for all of the new things he will learn, and the new friends he’ll make.

Speaking of new friends… our journey to bring Timothy home has brought us so many new friends, and so much support, I still find myself amazed at how God has woven us all together.

Tomorrow we are going to have a couple of visitors. A woman that John used to work with and her husband have followed our journey, and donated to our funds to help bring Timothy home. They are coming here to finally get to meet Timothy!! We’ve been exchanging text messages for the last two days. Why is that such a big deal? Because THEY are starting the process to bring home a little boy (or two hehe) from Reece’s Rainbow!! I am SO stinkin excited for them, and of course for him too!! I can’t wait to sit down and just chat with them about the process, and the blessings, and help with fundraising!

So dear friends, PLEASE pray for our friends!! I don’t want to post their names yet, I want to be sure it’s ok with them first. Don’t worry though, you all will be the first ones I tell when I can! Hehe

Here are a couple of pics from yesterday (I posted them on FB yesterday morning)!!

Momma, Timothy, & La-La (Olivia) waiting for the time to go
to school!

Timothy & Olivia in th van!

Ms. Kim, Timothy, & a new friend! The play dough had his
attentin from the first minute! hehe

Un-teachable? HA!!! We'll show 'em!

2011-04-08T22:44:00.000-05:00

On October 28, 2010 we stood in a small office full of people, in front of a judge who asked us why we would want to adopt a little boy who is not “healthy” and who would never be a contributing member of society. Why in the world would we want a child who is unteachable and basically hopeless when we have three healthy children already? Our answer to her was from the heart, because we believed that he could learn, and we would do all that we could to make sure that he did, and that he would get all of the medical care he might need, and because we love him, he is our son. She wished us well, and I truly believe that her well wishes were from her heart (after all, I hugged her if you all remember that story! Hehe), but I also wonder if she was thinking “Good Luck, you have no idea what you are doing”.

Fast forward to today, 6 months later. I sat in another small office, this time surrounded by women who have met our little “explorer”. Women who, along with me(and John and the rest of the family too), want to do everything possible within their power to make sure that he learns all that he can. Women who all had contributions to make to his education. Today we composed Timothy’s very first IEP (individualized education plan). Today we made a plan for his education. He will have speech therapy, and occupational therapy, and all of the help and support that he needs as he grows and LEARNS.

The little boy, who just 8 months ago was at the top of the list to be sent to an adult mental institution because he has Down syndrome, will get on the van with his sister on Monday, and go to his very first day of (developmental) Pre-school. He has no idea how significant that is, but we know.

Will he be the President of the United States someday? Hmmm… I dunno. What I DO know is that no matter where this whole education thing takes him, we will be here to help him and support him and encourage him to do the very best that he can.

I’m so excited for him. I am so thankful that God has given him the opportunity to grow and thrive and be free to be whatever He has for him to be. I am also very blessed to be his Mom.

Some fun announcements! YAY!

2011-04-05T15:12:00.000-05:00

Ok… for those who haven’t read their email yet, or weren’t the last two or three in last night’s Ukraine chat, do ya wanna know the “announcement”?? Anyone? Bueller? Hehe

*I* am very excited to be the new Ukraine post-adoption person for Reece’s Rainbow! Once families are home, I will help them to file their registration with the Ukrainian Consulate, and send reminders for the annual reports that we have to send. YAY!!

I have been doing some MAJOR reorganizing and cleaning the last couple of days. I’ve moved my most used scrapbooking stuff downstairs, built a cabinet for it, and re-organized the hallway storage area too. It looks SO much nicer, and my hope is that I’ll be able to get more scrapping done. Going upstairs is SO hard with my little kids, I feel guilty not being down here with them. Now I can do both! Hehe

Spring pick up (where the city will pick up LARGE items) is next week, so gotta get that stuff out of here!!

ANNNDDDD… I can FINALLY announce “TAYLAH TUESDAYS”!!!! That’s right… the White family is officially committed to sweet little Taylah!! Stay tuned for next Tuesday to learn more about the White family, and Taylah, and how you can help bring her home!!!

John's Birthday... one day late... hehe

2011-04-03T23:00:00.000-05:00

We had a nice day today. Yesterday was John’s Birthday and though he took the day off, and I had a plan for us to skip town, we didn’t make it. Joe woke up sick. He threw up and just looked like he might feel better if he could just die and get it over with. Poor kid. He’s not my “flu” type kid. Usually if he is sick it’s sinus/congestion stuff, very rarely does he get anything like he had yesterday. He was feeling a little better this morning, so we had a quiet morning, he ate some toast, and by the time church was over, he was feeling like his old self.

So, we hit the road! We went to Iowa City/Coralville. John really wanted Red Lobster, so that’s what we had. The kids were all so good on the trip up and through lunch.

After our late lunch, we went to the mall to Build a Bear and Timothy got his very first one! He wasn’t all that sure about it but he played along. He got a doggy. John named him “Woo Woo” since that is what Timothy says when you ask what a doggy says. We browsed Barnes & Noble for a bit and then I took everyone to Dairy Queen and dropped them off so they could all have some ice cream while *I* went to the Scrapbook store! Hehe Win/win… they got dessert/I got to shop alone for a bit with no pressure to hurry up. After that we hit Michaels and Gordmanns and headed home. Everyone was good on the trip home too, and it was bedtime when we got here! I’m so happy that my kids all travel relatively well.

A couple of updates… Carrington continues to get stronger, and they are hoping to schedule surgery for her next week sometime.

The Hook family passed court!! For those who don’t know, they are the family that went before the same judge that denied another family (the Davis’) adoption of a little boy just two weeks prior. It is amazing that God changed the judge’s heart in just two short weeks!! Of course, we know He is a God of miracles!! Now we need to continue to pray for the appeal of the Davis family.

And, I have a little “announcement” of my own to make that I am waiting for the “ok” to tell you all about… don’t you just HATE it when people do that!? Hehe Yep… I’m gonna leave you hanging!! Of course, I have to post a disclaimer for Renee & Carrie… NO… we’re not adopting again (well, yet anyway hehe)!

I’m sure you’ll forgive you for leaving you hanging though once you see some cuteness…

This is where I found him one day last week! I have a daycare
baby that uses it, but Timothy wanted to be a ya-ya too! hehe

Livi adding "Melody's" heart after giving it a smooch!

Sissy helping Timothy give his puppy's heart a smooch before
it goes into the puppy.

Watching Olivia's "Melody" get her stuffing.

Twitter anyone?

2011-03-31T22:59:00.000-05:00

I will admit something. I have NO idea what all of the “tweeting” is about and I have never had any sort of desire to figure it out. I love Facebook. I used to have a MySpace, well, I suppose it’s still out there in cyberspace somewhere, I dunno, I never go there anymore. LOL

So, a couple of days ago, Patricia Heaton (Debra from “Everybody Loves Raymond”) came across Reece’s Rainbow. Someone sent her the link for the memorial page on the RR website. God has been speaking to her and she felt led to “tweet” about RR. Then she issued a challenge, if RR could get 10,000 followers on Twitter, she would donate $10K! She knew it would happen, and has already written the check! This is really a case of God speaking to someone who has a “louder” voice than the common voice because she is a celebrity.

I have NO idea how to “tweet” or even how to read or respond on Twitter, but you better believe I joined JUST so I could be one of the 10,000!! Other celebrities have joined in and have been tweeting all day about RR!!

Yep, I’m even going to drop some names…Jim Carrey, Jennifer McCarthy, Melissa Gilbert, Gary Sinise, Alyssa Milano, Mariel Hemmingway, & Marly Matlin… Cool huh??

At last check, there were 5500+ followers of @reecesrainbow on Twitter. Very fun!!

Don’t forget to pray for the Hooks family! They are heading back to court at 11 EE time… 2 am CDT!

My heart hurts tonight...

2011-03-30T22:35:00.001-05:00

I had a rough afternoon. I know what you’re thinking…ut oh, here she goes again… ::insert eyeroll::

Let me explain. Today I said “good bye” to another of my long time daycare kids. I miss “my” kids. I miss Brooke, Emma, Noah, Bella, Addison… and now I’m losing Maddi and Tate too. Most of them I have taken care of since they were tiny babies. It’s hard to go from seeing them every day, playing with them, holding them, kissing their sweet little cheeks, snuggling with them just before and just after they wake up from a nap, watching them be silly, watching them as they learn something new… to not seeing them at all. Most of them are young enough that they won’t know me anymore after a few days or weeks. They are seeing someone else everyday now, the time they spent here with me has been replaced by their new caretaker. That’s what children do.
                                                                                                                  As I sat here this afternoon after giving Maddi a hug and kiss and making her promise to come see me, I started to think about Kirill, and Evan, and Baby J. The pain that I have felt over not having “my” kids here, could be compared to the pain that the Davis’ are going through. They have loved Kirill, and spent time with him, and thought that there would be many many more days and memories to be made with him, but then someone said “Sorry, he won’t be a part of your life anymore, move on”. They could have or adopt other kids, they can keep his memory in their hearts and cling to the time that they had with him, just like I will do with the kids who aren’t here anymore. It will take time, but it could be done.
                                                                                                            There is a HUGE difference though. What is it? The difference is that I know that “my” kids will be loved and cared for, and kissed, and played with, and all of those other things by their new caregivers, but more importantly, by their parents. They are safe, and warm, and sleeping in a cozy bed with a favorite stuffed animal or baby doll. That isn’t true for Kirill, Evan, and Baby J, they will eventually be sent to the institutions where they will “live” the rest of their undoubtedly shortened lives. They will just be another person to be taken care of. They might not get the nutrition, education, or even the basic things that they need to grow and be healthy. They will likely just waste away. After some time they won’t remember those people who came and promised to love them forever because… that is what children do…
                                                                                                               At 2 am CDT, the Hooks will be before the same judge who denied Kirill his family. They will be pleading with her to grant their little girl a family. Her name is Evan. She has a Momma, Daddy, and siblings at home who already love her very much. Like Kirill, she has spent time being loved on by her parents, and they have promised to come back for her even though in the backs of their minds they know that she might get the same answer that little Kirill did just two weeks ago… denied.
                                                                                                              Please pray for the Hooks. Pray for the judge and prosecutor. There are people all over the world who have been praying for these three sweet little ones who do deserve a family. Prayers for the judge have been going up since that day two weeks ago. Pray that she has heard God’s voice and knows that she should grant these little ones adoptions. She can change her mind about Kirill on her own without the Davis’ having to go to the Supreme Court. Pray that she grants the Hooks adoption and overturns her prior decision and grants the Davis’ adoption. It CAN HAPPEN. Our God is able!
                                                                                                                 I will be praying for the children, and the families that I have mentioned. I miss them dearly, but my pain does not compare to the pain that the Davis’, Hooks, and Moreno families will have to live with if they aren’t able to bring their little ones home…

Yippee!!

2011-03-28T22:54:00.000-05:00

I won… I won… I won!! Ok, I’m not like Julia who can be so gracious when she found out that she had won a few (yeah, three to be exact!) giveaways. LOL I won a drawing for a very nice necklace on my friend Renee’s BLOG. Of course, I didn’t donate to win, I donated because I love Renee, and I love her sweet little Paisley, but it’s fun to know that there will be some happy snail mail coming soon. Hehe

I promised a few updates from here but first let me update on Kirill and Carrington. Miss Carrington is holding steady today at *13* pounds!!! Her feeding has increased and she is keeping it down!! Praise the LORD!!! She is a long way from being out of the woods, but God is healing her in His perfect time!!

The Hooks family will be standing before the same judge on Thursday in Russia that the Davis’ did almost two weeks ago. The same judge that denied their request to adopt Kirill because he has Ds. Evan, the little girl that the Hooks are there to adopt also has Ds. PLEASE PLEASE pray for the judge’s heart, and that she will grant the Hooks the adoption of Evan. I have decided that I am going to fast & pray on Wednesday *&* Thursday. Wednesday is the day of the appeal being filed for the Davis’, and Thursday is the day that the Hooks will stand before that judge. I will have to do my normal daily things, but when I have even just a moment, I will be in prayer for these precious children and for the judge that holds their futures in her hands.

Now for a bit of an update from here! We’ve been working on getting Timothy’s evaluations done in hopes that he might get to go to school for the last few weeks of this school year, and start in the fall full time. The plan right now is developmental preschool this year, and probably in the beginning of next year through January at least, he will be in the same preschool class. There is a rule that says kids can’t stay in preschool after they turn 6, which he will in February. So the plan as of now, which could change, is preschool for the first half of the year and possibly kindergarten for the last half. Not too sure what will actually happen though, we’ll see how he does. Hopefully we’ll be putting him on the preschool bus in a week or so!! I’m so excited for him!!

I’ll post some pics soon I promise!!

Some Good News for a change! hehe

2011-03-26T20:54:00.000-05:00

I was planning to scrapbook a little tonight, I still might, but I’m being lazy just sitting here in my recliner. Hehe

Before I ramble for a bit about what’s going on around here, I wanted to share a little other news. Miss Carrington has a blog where you can follow her updates as she grows and gets stronger while she is in the hospital. You can go HERE to read the updates that Sarah posts. Sarah is a very sweet fellow RR mom who has also adopted a little girl from the same country that Carrington just came home from. She is in contact with Shelley (Carrington’s Mommy) on a daily basis to get the updates so she can share them with the rest of the world. Keep PRAYING!!

Kirill’s family has gotten the paperwork on its way to get their appeal moving. Hopefully there will be a court date set soon. Tesney is planning to be there for that, unless her hubby can keep her off of the plane (her words, not mine hehe). Keep PRAYING!!

Now for some really good news… Renee (& Steve) got their I171h today!!! In the world of international adoption, that is the “Golden Ticket”!! The last piece of the dossier packet!! Paisley will be meeting her Momma & Daddy SOON!! YAY!!! Of course, now we need to come up with the $$ for them to GO! Keep PRAYING!!

The Buricks are in region(the same orphanage that Timothy came from) right now to adopt little Vlad, but he is in the hospital, and they haven’t been able to see him. He is getting better though, and hopefully he’ll be out Monday. It’s been tough for them being right there and not being able to see him, or have anything to do with his care. Keep PRAYING!!!

The Carlins are also heading to EE, to Timothy’s old orphanage to bring home their kiddos (Daniel (Timothy’s little buddy from his groupa!!), Parker, and Josslyn). I sent pics of Timothy with them to show off to the nannies, and director, and head Nurse, and anyone else who’ll look. Hehe I can’t WAIT to hear that they are there!! Keep PRAYING!!

There are so many families getting ready to travel. The Beamish’s leave tomorrow!! In the 11^th hour, the $$ came in, and they are fully funded! God is GOOD!!!

This got a little long so I will save our update for tomorrow. HA!

Perspective...

2011-03-22T22:16:00.000-05:00

I had a tough evening. The kids were all at each other’s throats (literally, Kati & Joe were fighting, and Joe & Olivia were fighting, and Timothy was just being his ornery little self…).
Timothy has a habit of hiding his glasses. Tonight, he hid them in the speaker thingy of the surround sound system. I had to break the bottom of the speaker (just the bottom part, didn’t affect the speaker, and you can’t tell unless you pick it up and look at the bottom) with a hammer to rescue the glasses, and the matchbox car, three hair clips, Kati’s bracelet, and about a dozen Fruit Loops (don’t even ask how all of THAT stuff got in there!).

Every time I tried to accomplish something, someone needed me. Finally, I had to send Joe to his room, and Kati had to keep an eye on the little ones so I could at least cook supper. LOL

So, here I am having my own little pity party, reading email, FB updates, etc., and I realize that in light of all that is going on in the lives of my friends, my crappy mood is pretty pitiful itself.

There are at least three families who are working hard and praying harder for the money to bring their children home. There is a family waiting to hear when they have to travel across the world again to face the judge that said “No” to them last week when they begged her to be allowed to adopt the little boy that they have loved for so long. There is a family praying for their new daughter as she literally fights for her life in a hospital in Texas. There are children who are dying while they wait for their families to find them… our RR family lost another little angel boy last night (this brings the total to FIVE since October). And… a dear friend lost his Mom to cancer this morning.

My mood is nothing compared to what others are going through right now. I came here to post about life not being all sunshine and roses with four kids (two special needs), but instead I want to beg you to pray.

Pray for the families and the kids that I mentioned. Pray that God moves the hearts of those that need to be moved so that they can bring their children home, and save them from the “life” that they might have if they can’t raise the money, or if the judge still says “No”. Pray for His provision for them. I know that it can happen, I have seen it, I have experienced it.

I’m still in an icky mood, but I will thank God tonight for allowing me to have the children that I have, even when they fight, or “lose” their glasses, or make me crazy, because the alternative would be that I wouldn’t have them and that would kill me. I know I am blessed.

I am blessed to have my kids, and my husband (how he puts up with me is a whole other post, I’m sure!), my Mom, and my wonderful, supportive, loving friends.

Thank you God… for your provision and for helping change my perspective…

A little good... a little bad...

2011-03-21T23:24:00.002-05:00

First the good news… Carrington is holding her own! YAY!! She did lose half a pound over the night. She has a long road ahead, but she is getting very good care, and lots of prayers!!

The family who “lost” their little boy sent the paperwork off today for their appeal!!

Now for the bad… I’m down to two families in my daycare. I found out today that I’m losing another one. I’m sad. I will miss them… I miss all of “my” kids. I’m getting a little desperate too… less kids means less income… sigh…

Please pray for the families that I posted about last night. The Tams, the Whites, the Burlinghams, the Alkhazraji, the Hooks, the Davis’, the Morenos… Please pray for God’s will and His provision.

Please pray for my family, for my daycare, for our finances… I know that God is in control…

Give me a break!!

2011-03-20T23:27:00.000-05:00

I’m watching a STUPID… yep, I said it… commercial for ASPCA… all about “saving a poor animal’s life” for just $XX a month… “join us in making a difference in an animal’s life”…

Ok, before you all start throwing the flames at me, and thinking I’m a coldhearted meanie who doesn’t love animals, I want to show you something…

This is Carrington Burman…

During a visit at the orphanage

And this is Carrington Burman…

The first time they saw her without all of the layers at the orphanage

She was adopted recently from the same country that Timothy came from(not the same region though). As soon as she got home, they took her straight to the hospital. She was already in organ failure, her body preparing for death, and weighs only *11* pounds. No, that isn’t a typo… She is a very very ill little girl…

THIS is how I choose to make a difference… THIS is how I want to save a life… so forgive me if I don’t get the warm fuzzies at the stupid ASPCA commercial when there are CHILDREN who are in need. There are CHILDREN who are dying.

A little boy was denied his family this week because he has Down syndrome. A family was told that they would not be “approved” for adopting a special needs child. A Momma & Papa had to make the heartbreaking decision to not adopt a child child because the issues that he has are too much for their family to handle; now they grieve for the son that they have already loved for so long.

THOSE are the lives that *I* want to make a difference for. THOSE are the ones I wish I could do something for. THOSE are the ones that I wish I could help with a “donation”. THOSE are the ones that I will pray for until God makes His plan for them known to us.

There are families in the process right now to raise the money to go to their children, to bring them home, where they will be loved, and cared for, and get the medical attention that they need, and the education that they deserve…the Tam Family ... or the Burlingham Family ...or ANY of the families or children at Reece's Rainbow .

Can't afford to help in that way? Completly understandable!! There IS something you can do... PRAY soldiers!! PRAY!!! Take these families, and these children to the throne of God, and ask for their lives. Pray that the comfort that only God can give will surround them. Pray that God provides for the needs that they have.

Pray for the families above, but also for The Davis family... and the Alkhazraji family... and the Moreno family... Pray that God will work in a mighty way... we know He can... we just have to ask...

Today is a "good" day... but my heart is broken...

2011-03-17T19:37:00.000-05:00

Today is a good day…but my heart is broken…

My van is fixed, and home. John picked up our new couch and chairs. I’m packed up and ready to go to my weekend scrapbooking retreat.

All great things right? For us, yes.

As I sit here, listening to my sweet little ones taking their naps my heart is broken for a little boy in Russia. A little boy who has met his Momma & Papa. A little boy just waiting for them to come back to bring him home where he will be loved and will have every opportunity to grow and become the young man that God has planned. A little boy who has Down syndrome. A little boy who will spend the rest of his life in an institution because of one person. One person who doesn’t think that he is worthy of a family.

It is broken for a family… a Momma & a Papa who have loved their little boy for a long time, who traveled to meet him, if only for a few days, to love on him, and hold him, and promise him that they will come back for him. They have worked tirelessly to get the required paperwork completed and sent, and the money for the fees, and agency, and travel… A family who have clothes, and toys, and probably even have a bed for the little boy that God promised them. A family will still have an empty place at the table where he should be. A family whose heart is broken.

This morning while we slept, around the world a couple was standing before a judge begging for their son. Pleading that the judge would allow them to bring their little one home where he belongs. Fearing what she would say. They were there for five hours. Five hours. She said “No”. She feels that the boy should be in an institution. She feels that the family would be better without him.

They didn’t even get a chance to say “good bye” to him. They didn’t get a chance to explain to him or hold him or kiss his little head and tell them that they love him and will fight for him. They had to leave without their son.

There are other families who are set to go before this same judge. Other children whose lives are depending on this judge.

Now is the time for prayers. Now is the time to rally the troops and storm the gates of heaven for these children. God is so much bigger than this one person. He chose three very special families to break down the walls of that region, to make a way for other children to come home, and to live lives full of love.

The Reece’s Rainbow community has seen several precious little ones go home to be with Jesus in the past few months, families mourn for them. There have been families that have had to let the children that they committed to be relisted for reasons that might only be known to a few, they mourn for them. There are families right now in the process of adopting who fear that they will not make it in time, or might not raise the money in time, or their children might be transferred before they can get to them, families who long to just bring home their children… the ones that God put in their hearts, the ones He promised them.

God promises "...For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,
"Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..."
(Jeremiah 29:11)

This is His promise to ALL of us, not just to those who think that they are worthy, or rich, or perfect. It is for EVERYONE… everyone includes the children…

Tonight before I tuck my little ones in, or send my older ones to bed, I am going to make sure that they know how much I love them. I might hug them a little tighter, or a little longer, and think for just a moment about how blessed I am to have each of them. The thought of "what might have been" is never very far from my mind when I look at Timothy. I can't imagine life without any of my four blessings... thank you Lord for allowing me to be their Momma.

Just some random ramblings...

2011-03-16T21:55:00.003-05:00

Just so you know, I didn’t completely skip over our White Family Tuesday post for yesterday!! LOL

I do want to ask for prayers though, for Todd & Sarah, and their family. They have hit a bit of a snag, nothing that God can’t handle, so *I* am not worried one little bit, but they do need some prayers, so if you can spare a couple, that’d be awesome.

So… what else is happening around here? Hmmm… well… not much of anything! This is a good thing though!

I’ve contacted our local Education Agency again about Timothy’s therapies, since our eval appointments in Iowa City won’t be until July. We were hoping to get him into Preschool for a few months to see if he’d be ready for Kindergarten in the fall. Waiting for an email back about that now.

YAY!! My van is ready!! I’m so happy! One of us will go pick it up and drop off the car tomorrow morning.

I have a scrapbook retreat that I’m going to Friday – Sunday, so I might not be posting. Depends on the internet connection. Hehe

Please pray for my friends, Renee, Maria, & Cameron. God knows the needs. He will provide.